CaLLCenTeR BLooPeRs

[fadedblock]

---

customer: i got a problem with my internet connection its very slow..
Agent: I see.. don't worry we will run a speed test to see..
customers son suddenly approach his dad.. Daddy Daddy.. i captured the big shark, where do we place it?
agent: so you have a shark at home mr.customer?
customer: oh no, no, eric stop playing, let go of the goldfish...
Lol... -_-

hahhaa

[spreketeng]

from my own experience

naa ko sa una kasakay before sa 17C na dyip na taga convergys, then nibayad ang taga convergys sa driver

CVG employee: pls ko bayad (naghatag 20 pesos)
Driver: asa ni gikan?
CVG employee: seyn syeng kow (sanciangko)
Driver: asa?
CVG employee: seyn syeng kow

na gets gyud sa driver na gikan sanciangko

Driver: asa man naog?
CVG employee: ay chi
Driver: asa?
CVG employee: ay chi. ay chi park (IT Park)

perteng pugong ko sa akong katawa

astang pagkamaayo ani niya mo-english..bag-o pa guro ni, pakitang tawo kaau.. sori, mahyblood man ko ug ingon ani gud..hahaha nyawa..

work ko sa CVG, pero ambot lang, kasagaran gyud ako mabantayan (pero not all guro) mga nag-training pa, bisag pauli na, hala english diri english didto..asta sa jipppp.. pagka naman lang gyud intawon..

[aela]

hahhahaha... more pa guys beh! lingawa oi!

[Blackjellybean27]

this one came from my friend. she posted this on her FB profile. she's tech support, but home based sya...

cx: am i hearing chickens?
agent: uhmmm, no sir.. that's my ringtone.
cx: oh ic.. cool

agent (to herself): grrrr! samoka sa manok ni kuya and papa!!!

[j0dz]

cx: what is your mailing address??
agent: oh, it's PO Box ...
cx: what? i did not get that.
agent: i apologize. again, it's PO Box
cx: i don't understand you.
agent: sir, it's PO Bex
cx: oh, okay!


twenks. sir intawn, asa naman inyong pronunciation??

[ram_hot]

* This one has been around before - but definitely a classic! *
This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department..............
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect .'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type..'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Opera tor: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall..
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer..'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: 'No..'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to
the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!'

[cearism]

pa subscribe ani nga thread!

I'll share more kung may enough time na

[toxxxic]

AGENT: Thank you for calling. How may I help you today?
CX: Its the Alex guy again! *keypad tone* (FYI : Alex is a virtual Advisor)
AGENT: (Alex diay ko hah! Pwes!) Hi! This is Alex! Your virtual advisor. You can say things like, Top up, Change plan, or Activate phone. So how can I help you today?
CX: LIIIIIIIVEEEEE ADVISOOOOOORRR!!!
AGENT: Sorry, I didn't quite get that! Again, you can say thing like Top up, Chan...
CX: Aaaahhhhhrrrrrgggghhhhhh! (Cx hung up. hahahaha!. )


AGENT: thank you for calling this is marc how can i assist you?.
CX: im not happy with your service, it keeps eating mins and im doing nothing with my phone. I WANT to talk to your SuperVisor.
AGENT: sorry for that maam, ill just place you on hold while i tell your issue to my supervisor ok?
CX: ok then just hurry up im on lunch.
AGENT:(mute) TL, ngita ug supervisor oh. adik2 daw iya phone.
TL: gkan pako nag sup call, labad pa ako ulo.
AGENT: ok TL.
AGENT: maam you still there?
CX: yes im here.!
AGENT: tot tot tot tot...
CX: not again..!! (hang up... hahahaha!.)
AGENT: tawa mode
TL: asa naman ang call?
AGENT: ok ra TL, ako ingnan labad imo ulo call back lang daw xa.. ^___^ big smile..

[toxxxic]

Calls from a very good friend of mine nga pirting likia nga pagka bayot..

CX: my phone fell on a puddle and it floated....
AGENT: yes mam, thats what you call a mango float!
================================================== =====
CX: i cant send and receive text messages!!!
AGENT: oh mam, that is a REALLY GREAT problem!
================================================== =====
CX: my name is richard coo
AGENT: hello RICHARD POON!
================================================== =====
CX: i'm so sorry to hear about the flood in the philippines (ondoy), are you okay there?
AGENT: no mam. they are making us work even if the flood is already at our waist.. (kamusta naman ang 7th floor nato diha?. hahaha!. )
================================================== =====
cx looking for supervisor...

AGENT: yes sir, you can speak with my supervisor. but may i know why?
CX: because i want to speak with your supervisor!
AGENT: yes sir, you can speak with my supervisor. but may i know why?
CX: because i want to speak with your supervisor!!!
AGENT: yes sir, you can speak with my supervisor. but may i know why?
CX: BECAUSE I WANT TO SPEAK WITH YOUR SUPERVISOR!!!!!!!! (sapot na!)
AGENT: of course sir. but why?
TL: i-trasfer na nako bayota ka!. (hahahaha!. )

[cearism]

Me: May I have your email address, Sir?
Cx: I don't have an email.
Me: That's too bad, I can't send you the email instructions on how and where to send your phone in for repair if that's the case.
Cx: Oh, wait. I will have to spell it out for you.
Me: Okay, go ahead.
Cx: B-I-G-C-O-C-K-B-O-B at gmail.com

Mao diay di unta muhatag ug email...