nEW sET oF jOkEs ^_^

[RainDrizzle07]

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Copied this one from Facebook... Call center Interview ^_^

JUST WANT TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU GUYS! ENJOY!

I work as a recruitment associate for call centers, and I often encounter funny lines. hey, I’m not laughing at the people. just the lines. here are some of them:

1.I am a flexible and I am perseverance person (when asked to describe her personality)

2. I want to learn more English words. (when asked why he wanted to work in a call center). [Damn! Read the dictionary!]

3. Do you have any extra ordinary positions that I can take for granted (Roughly Translated: Meron po ba kayong ibang position na pwede ko’ng apply-an?)

4. “Ten” (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)

5. “Kelan Po?” (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)

6. “I would choose IRATE CALLERS, Sir.” (Answer to the question: If you will change the COLOR of the world, what would it be and why?)

7. “I want to entertain and satisfy customers” (hmmm….interesting concept…so…what are you wearing right now?)

8. “I want to expose myself to the customers.” (Answer to why he wants to work in a call center”) – Flasher ITO!

9. “Is there an opening for a call center?” (Oh so you want to become a call center now huh?)

10.“Hi. Good afternoon, my name is _____, and I’M a call center from the Philippines.” (solohin ba)

11. Chocolates, boys with tongue pierce.” (An applicants answer to the question: What are your weaknesses?”

12. “I think Grade 3 and 4 students are very childish!” (Answer to the question: What do you think is the most difficult part of teaching Grade 3 and 4 students)

13. “Haller!!! (knocks on the table) THE SALARY!” (Answer to Why do you want to work in a call center?)

14. “I’m a married person, I have 2 children, the same boy”

15. “It’s a colorful world.” (Describe the shirt you’re wearing.)

16. “It’s a boomed industry.” (So all agents are now dead, I guess)

17. “I like to explore other people” (ay sus…maniac ka ano?)

18. “I want to explore myself more.” (Answer to why do you want to work in a call center. bagay sila ni #17…)

19. “Hu u? How did you get my #? Text me back, huri. Send me load.” (The audacity of an applicant can sometimes appall you.)

20. “I was scheduled for an exam this morning.I wasn’t able to make it because I WAS TONSILITIS.”

21. “Hi Maam, do you have an opening.” (Lokong to ah!)

22. “I want to adventure into the graveyard¦” (Langya, mahiilig ka sa patay!)

23. “I would like to be a part of the graveyard¦” (isa ka pa…thriller¦ thriller night)

24. “Gd pm sir, im realy sri wen u call me I cnt hear clearly coz d raindrops of d rain is vry noisy. Rgrdng of wat u want 2 knw y u call me?” (A text message from an applicant)

25. “Do you accept walking applicants?” (No, we prefer flying ones)

26. Interviewer: So you’re an undergrad. What year are you in right now? Applicant: Oh I’m just here in the house. Interviewer: No, I asked you what year you’re in. Applicant: Year? I’m 25 years old! ( Nagkakaintindihan tayo pare….)

27. Applicant: Agency ba to? Interviewer: No sir, head hunting firm. Applicant (turning to friend): Egg-hunting daw pare! (Happy Easter!)

28. “In the middle of my study at Adamson, my father fortunately passed away.” (FORTUNATELY? ??!!!)

29. “Hello, i just want to inquire about the application resume that i planted in the computer…” (Ano ka, farmer?)

30. “May inaantay ako na trabaho kaya gusto ko lang na may mapag LILIBINGAN.” (Answer to the question “Why do you prefer a part-time job?” Tagalog na yun ha! Mahilig talaga kayo sa patay!)

[RainDrizzle07]

here is another one..


Kids are sharp!Share




TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie....... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

[heidirella]

Things you don't want to hear during your own surgery:
-San yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to?
-10ml? May nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!
-doc, ubos na Po pala yung anesthesia.
-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?
-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!


mao jud...mka barog jud ka ahat bsag nka OR table!!!!hahahaha

[renzjay1022]

haha.. kataw-anan lage ni... Ang uban kay nana man na sa txt dba?

[GOSPELofROCH]

pano sasabihin sa isang girl na maitim ang kili-kili niya without hurting his feelings?
"ganda ng deodorant mo ha, kiwi?"




hahahahahahahahahahaha

[KASAAC]

waaaaaaaa kataas hahaha na bored nuon ko imbis malingaw

[oOmUnKyOo]

kapuya basa oi..hehe pero lingaw..hehe

[cinderila]

makalingaw sad da!!!

[RainDrizzle07]

haha.. kataw-anan lage ni... Ang uban kay nana man na sa txt dba?

uu naa nah..others gani kay naa na sad sa thread mismo..
pero wla man ko nagbasa2x daan..before I post this gd.. hehe..

waaaaaaaa kataas hahaha na bored nuon ko imbis malingaw

ahahaha... g usa nlng nako sa thread tanan mga jokes oie.. lolz.. aron dli cge new thread... ^_^

[gcc4426]

sa sabungan, walang entrance fee ang may dalang panabong. Si Juan para makalibre pumasok may dalang inahin.
BANTAY: [sinita si Juan] ano yan?
JUAN: [galit pa!] manok!
BANTAY: alam ko, eh bakit inahin?
JUAN: may laban ang mister niya, siyempre moral support bobo!

lol. moral support. naghinilas pa. "bobo!" hahahahaha