Parenting Ideologies and why?

[Streetcar]

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Here's something that i'd like to share and its special to me because i live by these golden rules as taught to me by my father. It never made sense when i was a child, but now i see a purpose and a reason why so everytime i call back home long distance this is always our topic of discussion too.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.


Max Ehrmann

[diem]

Yes I admit it~ I am a television addict.. I AM A TELEVISION ADDICT!

Ever since I was a child you could often find me sitting, eating, reading and even doing homework in the chromic blue glow of the TV set. And it has been a source of contention between my parents and I. They did their best to get me 'rehabilitated' but to no avail.

Now older and wiser I realize how my childhood was so ill-spent.

So it'll be my strict parental duty to make sure my children(if God would bless me) do not get too enamoured and enchanted with the Box as I was...

Instead, I will divert their attention to more outdoor and outgoing activities like sports(something I never did), arts(theater & music), history, and travel...

Right now I'm not really sure if I could remove the TV from my list of must-haves (I am beyond saving~!) even for the sake of my children.. but I'll be damned if I allow their precious childhood just be wasted watching rather than living~!

[n`gel]

That's very nice streetcar. TV addict gyud? My kuya can watch TV from morning til 10pm sa unang wala pa siyay work. Pero nagdaku man mi sa una walay tv, and walay radyo elementary mi. Pag high school no TV on schooldays bisan human na ug tuon or homework, no TV gyud.

Here's mine. You can tell if your kid is intelligent, undestanding, has great self-motivation or if he's a child who is a little hard to teach discipline, has poor self-motivation. Then work from there. We were good kids for our stepmom and our papa. We're scared of getting scolded. For us, it's like degrading to have a parent reprimand us for being bad, tungod ana hadlok kaayo mi ug kasaba kay tungod dili mi anad ug kasaba. It's greatly influence too. Our papa treat us as intelligent kids, dili mistil sultian. He would talk about politics, arts, history, current events... basta naa amo papa sa cebu naa gyuy adventure permi. And... nindot pud gani nang naay indirect ang pag instill ug greatness? Kay naa gyuy expectations ang apelyido ni papa sa clan. But anyways, we're lucky nga wala pud nuon mi problema reaching that kind of standard. Wala pud nuoy siaw.

But as for me, for kids who're a little hard to instill discipline, self-discipline, motivation and character, they just need a little more consistent guidance. No nagging definitely.

"One word is enough for a wise man"

Be an example to my kids.

[lindsay]

i'm pretty much a laid back parent. i don't yell unless i have to, i don't believe in spanking co'z for me it's not fair to hurt someone physically especially if that someone is a child who can't defend themselves, it's like bullying ....i don't expect so much from my child, i let him be, i respect his well being and the things he likes to do even if i don't like it. i listen to him, no matter how furious i am with the things he does. i set rules and made sure that there's always gonna be consequences in breaking them. kids always test their parents of how far they can go, they tend to push and push the button to see if we really meant that rules are rules. one thing that works for me is the method of punishment that i use with my son, when he does something that he's not supposed to he lost something that he loves to do, let it be tv, video games, computer games, his sport practices or even his allowance.......
one thing that i instill in him and want from him and i told him over and over again is honesty. i always remind him that he can tell me anything and will never judge him. i will never get mad at him for telling me the truth no matter how bad it is. what makes me disppointed is him being dishonest.
another thing is knowing who their friends are, who they hang out with and know the parents of those kids, i want to know what's going on in his life.

[Streetcar]

My kids watch tv and go on the internet a lot of times too but one thing with them bisan atubang sa TV, they are very much focused with their homeworks as if anad na sila naay sound the tv is on while doing their homework. I have instilled good reading habits with my two girls. They both love reading books and going to the library together and they also love renting dvds. Parehas sila duha ug hilig mag barkada kaayo. So far, i have done my parenting job responsibility and I still continue to do that. I have two good kids so far, knock on wood wala pa ko problema then mga babae man sab. I never pressure or impose on them to excel. They're not spoiled too. I just tell them to always do their best and if that is their best then that is good enough for Mom!

[DebutsAndIDos]

[font=calibri]So basically my first parental duty concerning my child will be saving a particular name for him or her which will carry my hopeful prayer for his/her future character, perhaps something like Teresa or Elizabeth, Elijah or Caleb... good solid names based on historical personas of shining nature.

Just my idea though, on good parenting: Give your newborn child a name s/he could live with, and perhaps to aspire to.

This is a nice topic.

I named my son Elijah, after the Biblical prophet. That man for me is amazing! He was human and yet he had such unwavering faith.
About spanking? I have three rules: no playing with fire, no playing with knives, no running when we are walking out in the streets.

If he breaks any of those, he gets spanked. I would really rather put fear in him while he is too young to understand the dangers himself. I think it's okay to set limits for him while he is too young to set them himself. Other than that, I tend to indulge his curiosity. I call him my little Mass Weapon of Destruction because he is so curious and he destroys everything he touches.

[boxingfan529]

as a bible believing Christian, i believe in disciplining with the rod. spanking is biblical

but proper spanking should be followed accordingly otherwise, you wont give the right message to your child.

1) give warnings first to any unacceptable behavior. explaining about the pros and cons of that action. then telling you children that the next time they repeats that same attitude or behavior, they will be spank as a CONSEQUENCE. i believe, children should start learn the cause and effect theory. take note that children easily absorbs things we told them about.
2) if they repeated that again (i usually give a leeway, 2 or 3 times before the spanking), what i do is explain to them again why their actions was unacceptable and reminding them about what i said that the consequence is by disciplining them by spanking. i always emphasize the CONSEQUENCE thing. they would cry and resist to be spanked but i need to be consistent with what i have said. a spank and two will do (make sure they feel the pain but not too much). afterwards, i hug my kids and tell them how i love them so much and explain to them that i dont want them to be doing such things that in the end becomes a habit that is hard to stop. it's important that they know that you are sincere. but dont do the spanking if you're already fuming and your blood pressure is skyrocketing. you might hurt your child badly.

the key there is Love. discipline is a way of directing your child to the godly values they need to develop. as God disciplines His children but still reminds His great love and showing His ways are perfect.

[taga opon]

1. ) i teach them first of all to love God, gisugdan nako ug istorya about sa Ginoo, sa ten commandments, etc. kay from these mo follow ra ang good values, respect for others, for self. karon, my son is 6 yrs. old pero aware kaayo siya sa Ginoo, sa mga reasons nganong we have to do good, nya naa sad siyay empathy sa mga less fortunate. also, he knows how to pray for others first and to ask forgiveness before asking something for himself.

2. ) i encourage reading. kay i believe nga if they start young, they will develop the love of reading, daghan sila ug makat onan. nya i don't just limit myself to simple children's stories, ako sad gi expose akong anak sa books about the planets, animals, dinosaurs, ancient egypt, etc. , also we make it a point to visit the library always or go to a bookstore kung naa mi sa mall. karon, daghan na kaayo ug nahibaw an ang akong anak about almost anything under the sun.

3.) i also make it a point to answer all his questions kay ganahan man kaayo mangutana. bisan medyo complicated ang explanation, i try to simplify it so makasabot siya sa iyang level. nya pirmi gyud nako i stress ang importance sa education.

4.) i bring him to parks, beaches, ug kanang mga lugar that has something to do with nature aron ma develop niya ang love of nature. this way, dili siya mahimong couch potato. ma appreciate niya ang hiking, biking, walking in these places. also, makakita siya sa importance sa pag take care sa atong environment ug maka appreciate sa animals.

5.) i don't give him junk food ug soda, to prevent juvenile diabetes. karon, bisan imo tagaan akong anak ug coke, mobalibad gyud kay he wants to be healthy nya mao pay mobadlong namo kung mokuha na mi ug chips sa grocery.

6.) nya bisan busy kaayo mi, pirmi gyud na naay family time. to have fun and be silly, aron naa sad siyay sense of humor.

7.) i make sure that he gets appreciated for the good things that he does to bolster up his confidence.

8.) every night, before sleeping, naa miy "love love" time. wherein, me and my husband and my sons cuddle up together in bed, hugging and talking about the day that happened.

9.) i never hesitate to say sorry kung nasayop ko to my son. this way, he learns to do the same thing.

10.) lastly, i never do baby talk. dali ra sila maka sulti ug straight kung dili i baby talk. nya i talk to my son as an equal. meaning, he can voice his opinion and join a conversation with me and my husband

[Mannequin]

Train up a child where he should go; when he is old he will not depart from it

[kryztelle088]

Am still learning coz my babies are still babies.

Unsa man inyo mga parenting ideologies?

Strategy or goal: Make your child self-confident.
Tactics: Listen to your child when he/she speaks.
Do not bully and compare your child with someone else.
Praise them.
Plant in their minds that they are good. Because they become what you always tell them who and what they are. Kung sige tag ingon ug "Buanga kang bataa ka. Bastos ka! Gago ka! Leche ka!" Mahimo gyud siyang ingon ana. Mahimong mubo iyang panglantaw sa iyang kaugalingon. Dili siya confident sa iyang self.

Ari pa.

Do not embarrass the child in front of someone else kay trauma na sa ilang ego. They won't be able to learn by embarrassing them. Okies?

And let them choose for themselves. Bisan bata pa. That means man gud nga you trust them. If you build trust in them, ga-build pud silag trust sa ilang kaugalingon.

Kabantay ba mo sa uban nga dako na, maulaw, gaduha duha sa iang ginahimo, sige'g pangitag approval, mahadlok masayop. MY GOSH, tungod na kay ang dugay na nilang nadunggan sa mga tawo kay "Ayaw! NO! DO NOT &%$#! DILI PWEDE! NO, anak, you are still young to do that. Let your father do that instead. You can't do that. Here. Let me do it for you. You can't YOU CAN'T YOU CAN'T!"

Ang dapat himuon?

Empower your child. Show the child how to do it. Bisan masayop, ingna lang nga you can do better next time.

ALso...

Make them feel special. Pareha sa ginahimo ni Sharon Cuneta sa iyang mga anak. Gina-post niya sa dingding ang ilahang mga artworks.