To all those MARRIED: How's your Marital Life?

[pigrah]

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Na touch pod ko...u know why? Because mine did not start with it. We are married for 15 years now pero gamay ra amo panag-uban kay he is a seaman.We meet thru penpal writing 27 years ago. We've been corresponding for 12 years and after meeting for four times, we ended marrying. Murag may pressure pod to sa ako kay turning 30 yrs. old na man gud to adto. Hadlok mabiyaan sa last trip. Now, nagmahay ko kay mao na lay akong nahibaw-an nga puwerteng daghana ug babaye tawhana nga ang uban maguwang lang ug gamay sa among eldest kid. Kusog manatung , bakakon ug uto-uto sa iyang mga babaye pero dawo sa iyang pamilya. We are now in the darkest moment sa among relationship kay before christmas he will be home and we are on the verge of separation tungod sa akong nadiskubrehan nga babaye niya nga siya pa gyud ang nag pa eskuwela sa Nursing ug graduating na karon. Have talked with the girl ug miangkon ra pod siya dayon kay wala man nako awaya kay kahibalo ko nga nailad pod siya pero nakapahimulos man pod hinuon siya kay suportado tanan niyang panginahanglan. Hangtud 15 years ra gyud ko kutob kay enough is enough. Gikapoy nako panilhig sa iyang katag. Sa una, naghunahuna ko nga basin duna pod koy pagkuwang pero sa pagkahibalo nako nga nag gamit gyud siya ug alyas nga pangalan ug nagpatuyo pa gyud ug pabuhat ug birth certificate ug ID's sa iyang pagpangilad sa iyang mga babaye, naka conclude gyud ko nga iyaha gyud nin'g sakit and its very unfair for me toget blamed for all of his doings. This marriage is destined to end kay wala nay respeto ug gugma nga pinaka importante unta niya nga sangkap. To those who are happy with their marriage, hope you won't end up destroying the trust of one another and keep your love burning always....

im so sorry to know what ur going thru...but i applaud u for being strong.
bitaw, bilib ko sa mga wives na mu stand up jud for themselves and stop being a "martyr".
so up ko ani niya!
dont worry, everything will be alright and always stay strong!

[martiristic]

Thanks for cheering me up... I badly need it this time kay I cannot consider myself strong yet until the day when I can tell in his face that I'm done. He stopped communicating with us after I confronted him. He denies everything and even blamed me for listening to strangers. It's been a month now since we last talked and he stopped calling even to the kids only. He is a very proud person and in our 15 years marriage, I've always been the one who surrenders after every fight. He could be thinking that I have no right to complain considering that he is the breadwinner now after I resigned from work supposedly to devote my time to my family. Your inspiring words can make me a stronger person to stand up for mydignity as my 2 kids are disappointed of me for still accepting their father despite his previous affairs. They consider me more immoral than him because I tolerated his illicit relationships. It's bcoz I actually don't want for them to grow in a broken home environment. Pero napuno na gyud ko and I would have to end this. I am thinking of taking advice from a lawyer so that I can prepare for his return and ensure that the welfare of my children are taken cared of. My life is just one case of a bad marriage. Hope there are not plenty of wives out there who are going through my ordeal. It's very painful ... I never have imagined that I will be going thru all of these. Life is not always perfect.

[mhaw]

Na touch pod ko...u know why? Because mine did not start with it. We are married for 15 years now pero gamay ra amo panag-uban kay he is a seaman.We meet thru penpal writing 27 years ago. We've been corresponding for 12 years and after meeting for four times, we ended marrying. Murag may pressure pod to sa ako kay turning 30 yrs. old na man gud to adto. Hadlok mabiyaan sa last trip. Now, nagmahay ko kay mao na lay akong nahibaw-an nga puwerteng daghana ug babaye tawhana nga ang uban maguwang lang ug gamay sa among eldest kid. Kusog manatung , bakakon ug uto-uto sa iyang mga babaye pero dawo sa iyang pamilya. We are now in the darkest moment sa among relationship kay before christmas he will be home and we are on the verge of separation tungod sa akong nadiskubrehan nga babaye niya nga siya pa gyud ang nag pa eskuwela sa Nursing ug graduating na karon. Have talked with the girl ug miangkon ra pod siya dayon kay wala man nako awaya kay kahibalo ko nga nailad pod siya pero nakapahimulos man pod hinuon siya kay suportado tanan niyang panginahanglan. Hangtud 15 years ra gyud ko kutob kay enough is enough. Gikapoy nako panilhig sa iyang katag. Sa una, naghunahuna ko nga basin duna pod koy pagkuwang pero sa pagkahibalo nako nga nag gamit gyud siya ug alyas nga pangalan ug nagpatuyo pa gyud ug pabuhat ug birth certificate ug ID's sa iyang pagpangilad sa iyang mga babaye, naka conclude gyud ko nga iyaha gyud nin'g sakit and its very unfair for me toget blamed for all of his doings. This marriage is destined to end kay wala nay respeto ug gugma nga pinaka importante unta niya nga sangkap. To those who are happy with their marriage, hope you won't end up destroying the trust of one another and keep your love burning always....

grabe!!!bilib ko sa ka lig-on sa imung fondation...murag gi tuyo sa...g hatagan ka og ing-ana ka dako nga problema ky kbalo xa nga kaya ra nimo..testingan jd ta ba..ky og wla man gud ta dako na problema murag makalimot na ta og sampit o duol niya, mao naa jd times nga suwayan ta to test our faith..u will be given 10x pd nga grasya...proven and base and my experienced pd...

[pigrah]

Thanks for cheering me up... I badly need it this time kay I cannot consider myself strong yet until the day when I can tell in his face that I'm done. He stopped communicating with us after I confronted him. He denies everything and even blamed me for listening to strangers. It's been a month now since we last talked and he stopped calling even to the kids only. He is a very proud person and in our 15 years marriage, I've always been the one who surrenders after every fight. He could be thinking that I have no right to complain considering that he is the breadwinner now after I resigned from work supposedly to devote my time to my family. Your inspiring words can make me a stronger person to stand up for mydignity as my 2 kids are disappointed of me for still accepting their father despite his previous affairs. They consider me more immoral than him because I tolerated his illicit relationships. It's bcoz I actually don't want for them to grow in a broken home environment. Pero napuno na gyud ko and I would have to end this. I am thinking of taking advice from a lawyer so that I can prepare for his return and ensure that the welfare of my children are taken cared of. My life is just one case of a bad marriage. Hope there are not plenty of wives out there who are going through my ordeal. It's very painful ... I never have imagined that I will be going thru all of these. Life is not always perfect.

u may not know it but strong-willed people like u are the ones who inspires people like me. really. u should be proud of yourself and do whats best for your family and most of all, urself. even ur kids know u deserve something better than what u are going thru now with thier own dad.

mam, u should feel lucky somehow coz u woke up from a bad dream...ang uban padayon lang gihapon, they just turn a blind eye bisag perte ng sakita just for the sake of saving an unsavable marriage.

again mam, be strong! GOD will guide and help you. everything will fall into place.
i wish you the best of everything!

[martiristic]

Yes, true mura ug gituyo gyud ang tanan... Dili katuohan pero I found out about the latest girl of mu husband thru the internet. God truly have his amazing ways to awaken me. I found a piece of paper from my husband's luggage with a school address (Bulacan) written on it. One day my nephew who is alaso a seaman on vacation came from Manila and stay with us for a night. He went online using our computer. He opened his friendster account while we were discussing how liberated girls are nowadays. He cited an example of a friend in friendster whom he was only able to know when he joined an online group. He opened her account where her shoutout was inviting horny men to call her as she is as horny as well. When I came across her profile, I found out that she is studying on the same address which I found. Curiously, I dialled one of her posted numbers and asked her whether she know someone of my husband's name. I could not believe it but she did and when I told her about who I am, she was likewise surprised. We talked for five consecutive nights and she confessed everything between them. She was even introduced by my husband to his lady cousin who confirmed the introduction. She told me " why are you nice to me? are you not supposed to get angry with me ?" I just can't because I know that she is also a victim and at her young age, she was also exploited by him. She is only three years older than my eldest daughter. I would not want my daughter to likewise get exploited the same way he did to all the young girls he is victimizing. The biggest blow of her confessions was that my husband show her how much money he has in the bank thru the ATM. The figure was all true and that he promised her that he is going to buy a house for her when he comes home. What was more surprising is that her friendster account which we found out was actually made by one of his other girls who found her numbers and photos in my husband's celfone and made an account out of it. They have been fighting all along before I came in. She gave me the numbers of that other girl who happens to be a call center agent. I talked to her and likewise she admitted of their relationship. I asked them both of their email account and send them photos to prove that the man they have been fighting for is very much a married man. I do not have communication with them anymore as they changed numbers. I'm just not interested anymore whether they went on with their affairs or not. I know that these are girls are only some of those whom I just happen to know of but there are plenty more. I cannot keep on clearing his mess just to win him back to us. There really is something wrong with his person and I cannot do anything to to change his ways. I'm tired and I find all effort useless because he has no intention to change despite previous confrontations. I surrender eveything to the LORD ... its HIS will for me to know all about this so I'm not going to put it all to waste by tolerating my husband once again.

Thank you for taking time to listen to me ... you all did touched my heart.

[maryneal]

@martiristic wew... teary eyes man ko nag basa sa imong post dah...

well, ana jud na..

ako kay 2 yrs of bf/gf relationship and going to 1 yr as husband and wife..so far so good. though there are times nga nay mga away2, normal man daw na sa couple..i cant forget wat my father in law told me.." ang first yr daw as couple kay maoy lisud..naa diha tnan away..mga attitude nga la pa ninyo nahibaw an sa usag usa..there are a lot of twist and turns.." its true..coz this is the time nga getting to know each other pa mo mau..

[pigrah]

@martiristic

wow grabe maam despite ur disposition ur still unruffled...bilib kaayo ko nimo, as in hands down.
imagine, u managed to talk to those two girls decently. if i were in ur shoes...sos! unleash hell jud sa walay pag duha duha.

ur husband is the one who is at the loosing end. obviously, he doesnt realize that now but in time, he will. every action has an equal reaction, so they say.

dont loose hope maam, and continue to pray always, and I will be praying for u as well this night.

[ainz002]

as a young couple, i can say we've learned alot on marriage already.
its bad though that there is no subject in college or even vocational to teach us about this.
but my husband and i are fortunate enough to get to join this 8-week session of "Dynamic Marriage" that teaches us a great deal about what marriage is all about.
it helped me understand myself and my partner more.
it made us aware of what could potentially go wrong in a marriage and how to act on it.

but of course, experience is the best teacher, there's still many learning to come..
you need to work for your marriage for it to work..

[threadstone]

marriage talks about responsibility, love, & understanding. it is tough when you are into long distance relationship. communication must be constant or else it might lead to some misunderstanding or misleading.

[ellehpo28]

whew!

martiristic: Saludo ko nimo but I'm glad you have kept your cool and good disposition.

Well, you just made the best decision in your life. I wish you well. I am sure that you will feel better after the real separation. It's like going out of prison after a long time.

Life is really mysterious. I have a 7 years of wonderful happy marriage until April this year. And I am still trying to move on after the loss.

Don't get me wrong. We did not separate. He passed away due to an illness.