If You Cheat On Your Spouse...Are You A Bad Parent?

[ronz_rodz]

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it will result to a broken family... luoy ang mga bata. then dagdag problema pa .. then samot dako imo gastos.. sa bata , sa asawa and kabit..

[stjohn]

yes bad example for your children coz you are cheating and breaking the trust and confidence of your spouse and children.

[Blackjellybean27]

frankly speaking, yes you are.
whatever you do will affect ur children, even if they don't know it.
let me give an example to better explain my point

for example, you cheat on your wife.. then your wife finds out, but then you still continue cheating. your wife is sick and tired of you cheating around, she decides to leave you.
kinsa affected ana? ang kids. even if the wife wont tell her kids na their daddy cheated, they will still be affected by the separation/annulment (whatever the case is)
in the first place, you know that cheating is not tolerated by most people. martyr lang na mga wives or husbands ang maka take ana.

cge, scenario number 2.. what if the wife decided to stay after all the cheating her husband did. do you think she will just keep quiet in her corner waiting for husband to come home? she will be crying her eyes out, she will always be treating her husband like garbage when he comes home, and no matter how hard it is not to fight in front of the kids, the kids will still see the way mommy and daddy are treating each other. one time or another the wife will snap at the husband all of a sudden, d na ma control ang self, etc etc.. all because of cheating.... kids are still affected..

then, the husband and wife separates.. let's say children stayed with the mommy (k that's the usual thing anyway). the husband visits the children, provides them with money, takes them out wherever, gives them whatever they want. so maka ingon naka na good parent sya no matter what. i don't think so!!

have you ever considered: he's supposed to do that, 'cause that's his responsibility anyway... number two, he gives them everything not because he can afford to, but because he is guilty of what he has done, therefore making that as something to make him feel better. he has to be physically present all the time to make up for what he did to his kids.

anyway, that's just my opinion.

[Dark]

What if you are not married BF/GF lang mo ba, peru LIVE in mo! and your relationship with the mother of ur children are not in good condition? but u are supporting ur kids, supporting them, taking good care of them, giving them so much love, nga to the point pwd na nimu ma spoiled ang kids, would that still call you a bad parents? i mean common, natural raman tingali na sa guy nga mo cheat its because nag kulang sad tingali ang girl diba? something lacks in that relationship mao naka buhat ang guy ana, but the guy natural are faithfull to there kids, thats all that matters... as they say mag paka buta nalang ang asawa sa mga gibuhat sa iyang bana! og mag pa ka bongol nalang ang bana para sa mga "nagging" sa iyang asawa! a perfect relationship would then exist if these two are atleast there, thats what real love means accepting! point of view lang sad na naku! peace out y'all!

PERU not to the point nga permi nalang sad buhaton sa guy the same mistake again haf! subra nana!

[keeper_of _the_key]

Dark mai point ka bro. agree ko;.
dili malikayan kai dili tanan nag minyo maau ila pag sabtanay. as long as you love your child and you do your park as a parents wa man siguro problema being a parents noh. pero dilio maau as a family kung ing,ana but naa man jud ing,ana na situation di ma likayan.
sa ako lang dili pasabot nga naai lain ang parent dili na sya good father or Mother sa iya child.

[moklo]

What if you are not married BF/GF lang mo ba, peru LIVE in mo! and your relationship with the mother of ur children are not in good condition? but u are supporting ur kids, supporting them, taking good care of them, giving them so much love, nga to the point pwd na nimu ma spoiled ang kids, would that still call you a bad parents? i mean common, natural raman tingali na sa guy nga mo cheat its because nag kulang sad tingali ang girl diba? something lacks in that relationship mao naka buhat ang guy ana, but the guy natural are faithfull to there kids, thats all that matters... as they say mag paka buta nalang ang asawa sa mga gibuhat sa iyang bana! og mag pa ka bongol nalang ang bana para sa mga "nagging" sa iyang asawa! a perfect relationship would then exist if these two are atleast there, thats what real love means accepting! point of view lang sad na naku! peace out y'all!

PERU not to the point nga permi nalang sad buhaton sa guy the same mistake again haf! subra nana!

Maka accept kaha ka bro kung bali ang situation imo WIFE mag cheat nmo?

My point is sa sugod palang sa inyong relation sa imong paris sayup nang daan kay BF or GF lang, still naa japun na effect sa inyung. what if gusto sa mga kids nga naa mo permi. Unsa man ikatubag nmo sa imo mga kids kung mangutana cla ug asa c mama? asa c papa? ngano d man mo cge mag kuyog?....

Dili sad sa tanang panahon agree ka sa inyung sabut sa imong ka live-in nga naa ka mo duha cge. Dako gihaon na ug effect sa mga kids.

Klaro sad kaayo nga wala sad gahunahuna sa mga anak kung ingon ana ang setup kay dapat naa nmo baby imo na unta gidawat ang responsibilty nga magpakasal na dayun.

The best way is to think first kung unsa mahitabo kung nmagbuhat ka ug ingon ana, dili ra baya life sa mga bata ang ma ipiktuhan pati na imohang life... Im sure taga adlaw d mawala ang kabugat nga imong gipasan mura naa ka likayan cge...

[RCR75]

no, you may not be a good spouse but you can be a good parent

[annerhexian]

No. My grandfather cheated on my grandmother and she knew it. I noticed this when they were in their 60's or 70's na so tigulang na, but my grandfather has been doing it since her youngest daughters were still kids. He was always travelling but still would come home to my grandmother, they would talk, they appear very gentle with each other.

So anyway, I don't think cheating makes a person a bad parent. In the case of my grandfather, he continued supporting his children emotionally and financially and all of his children adored him and looked up to him. He had his grave ready before he died in the land where he raised his family and left all properties to his children.

Pero wa lang ko kasabot.
It seems that marrying a good man is no guarantee for complete fidelity.

a good man is never a guarantee for fidelity but it is how he controlled him/herself into that kind of situation..

mao ba na gi ingon brad, na bahalag mahupas na ang gugma or tanan2 pero ang respetar, dili lang jud.. coz in respect you knew where to set ur responsibility and common sense but then.. some situations are just not enaf for that word..

hay civil ra jud sa usat usat guru para way gubot.. well not sure pod.

[moklo]

frankly speaking, yes you are.
whatever you do will affect ur children, even if they don't know it.
let me give an example to better explain my point

for example, you cheat on your wife.. then your wife finds out, but then you still continue cheating. your wife is sick and tired of you cheating around, she decides to leave you.
kinsa affected ana? ang kids. even if the wife wont tell her kids na their daddy cheated, they will still be affected by the separation/annulment (whatever the case is)
in the first place, you know that cheating is not tolerated by most people. martyr lang na mga wives or husbands ang maka take ana.

cge, scenario number 2.. what if the wife decided to stay after all the cheating her husband did. do you think she will just keep quiet in her corner waiting for husband to come home? she will be crying her eyes out, she will always be treating her husband like garbage when he comes home, and no matter how hard it is not to fight in front of the kids, the kids will still see the way mommy and daddy are treating each other. one time or another the wife will snap at the husband all of a sudden, d na ma control ang self, etc etc.. all because of cheating.... kids are still affected..

then, the husband and wife separates.. let's say children stayed with the mommy (k that's the usual thing anyway). the husband visits the children, provides them with money, takes them out wherever, gives them whatever they want. so maka ingon naka na good parent sya no matter what. i don't think so!!

have you ever considered: he's supposed to do that, 'cause that's his responsibility anyway... number two, he gives them everything not because he can afford to, but because he is guilty of what he has done, therefore making that as something to make him feel better. he has to be physically present all the time to make up for what he did to his kids.

anyway, that's just my opinion.

Agree ko ani!

[Maikeru]

I'd like to share this for parenting. This is from Steinberg by The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting (Simon & Schuster)

1. What you do matters.
“Tell yourself that every day. How you treat and respond to your child should come from a knowledgeable, deliberate sense of what you want to accomplish. Always ask yourself: What effect will my decision have on my child?”

2. You cannot be too loving.
“When it comes to genuine expressions of warmth and affection, you cannot love your child too much. It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love. What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love—things like leniency, lowered expectations or material possessions.”

3. Be involved in your child’s life.
"Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs you to do. Be there mentally as well as physically.”

4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child.
“Make sure your parenting keeps pace with your child’s development. You may wish you could slow down or freeze-frame your child’s life, but this is the last thing he wants. You may be fighting getting older, but all he wants is to grow up. The same drive for independence that is making your three-year-old say ‘no’ all the time is what’s motivating him to be toilet trained. The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table.”

5. Establish and set rules.
“If you don’t manage your child’s behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older and you aren’t around. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing? The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies to himself.”

6. Foster your child’s independence.
“Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, she’s going to need both. Accepting that it is normal for children to push for autonomy is absolutely key to effective parenting. Many parents mistakenly equate their child’s independence with rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled by someone else.”

7. Be consistent.
“If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion, or if you enforce them only intermittently, your child’s misbehavior is your fault, not his. Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiables. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it.”

8. Avoid harsh discipline.
“Of all the forms of punishment that parents use, the one with the worst side effects is physical punishment. Children who are spanked, hit or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children. They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others.”

9. Explain your rules and decisions.
“Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to. Generally, parents overexplain to young children and underexplain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn’t have the priorities, judgment or experience that you have.”

10. Treat your child with respect.
“The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully. You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationships with others.”