Originally Posted by
brian joshua
Dear Haters and Bashers,
I’m like writing you right now because you’re all so mean.
You were like re-posting my pictures and stuff all over the internet and say hateful things about me and my family. It’s like, why are you doing these things to us?
I mean, it’s not like bad for me to post those pictures in the first place. It’s like my account, you know? It’s just so sad that one of my friends on instagram betrayed me and leaked my photos like all over. To you who leaked my photos: You backstabbing b*tch! I mean, why did you do this? I, like, invited you to all my parties and stuff and you repay me with this?! I should’ve suspected you’re like a low life when you just gave me a bottle of cheap Bench branded perfume for my birthday. What a re-gifter!
Now dearest bashers, let me tell you that I am like magna-cum-laude in my school. My dean was like, “if there’s a higher award we would give that to you” kinda thing? So, I can defend myself here and I will answer your criticisms like, one by one.
So what if I have two Porsches? I mean, it’s like kinda common sense because we have like color coding all over the metro, you know? Can you blame my mom if she’s like concerned that I won’t be able to go out and shop on the day my car will be like color-coded and stuff? And what’s with “color coding?” I mean, they are basing it by numbers, shouldn’t they call it like “number coding” instead? Filipinos are like dumb, hee-hee. I wonder though, what day would they ban pink. Because pink is totally like my favorite color. I am planning the other to have my Porsches repainted as pink. That would be so cool, right?
I remember this one time, at band camp, ah forget it, I just so love pink.
Why are you, like, mad if I have two Porsches? Do you expect me to walk to my underwater yoga class every Thursday when I’m in Manila? Eeeow! I mean, I know right? I am like a victim too! Like you folks, I am against number coding! My mom won’t have to buy Elle (that’s the name I gave my second Porsche, by the way) if there’s no disgusting traffic, right?
So instead of blaming me, why not like get rid of those filthy buses altogether. They’re like big and they take too much space. And is it really worth it? I mean, only those people from the demographic C and D’s are the ones riding it. And did you know the music they play there? I mean it’s like noise with those loud-mouthed DJ’s shouting every end of the song! Memo to buses: Change songs, will you? Buy some frickin CD players! Haven’t you heard of Kevin Lettau and Diana Krall?
So let’s get rid of them altogether! C’s and D’s! Frickin squatters! I mean, they’re not really from here, right? They’re like from the provinces and they just go here and like squat on private lands and on those filthy esteros and bridges. It’s just like one of my mom’s kumare complaining the other day because they cannot use the land they acquired from the government for a very cheap price (I don’t know why- I overheard mom’s kumare saying “magic bidding” is it like a new government bidding system thingie?) to build a new posh mall.
That’s why my mom’s very active in her organizations to make programs for those poor people. So that they can have, like, better lives and will stop bothering us anymore. What a mom! Love you, superwoman!
So what if I post my P1 Million watches, my P300,000 designer bags and P300,000 designer shoes on instagram? I mean they are like gifts from my parents. I did not steal it. And like what my mom said on TV, they bought those gifts for me by working hard. I am so lucky to have very rich parents. They are loving too, by the way. They cannot stand me making a pouty face if they,like, don’t buy me what I want. So cute of me, right?
I’m trying it hard to be a fashion designer here in the states. I’m like raising our flag here, so why are you mad at me? You should be proud of me ‘coz at 22, I already have a property here at the Ritz Carlton worth P80 Million. I’m like neighbors with the celebrities here. Are you mad at me because you’re kinda jealous? I mean at 22, what do you own? A credit card with a P15,000 credit limit?
loubotin
It’s just Loubotin, okay people?!
Have you heard that awful rumor that we supposedly bought the whole content of a designer bag store? It’s like all lies. Frickin lies! You think we will carry all those bags out of the store? Eeeeow! Menial work! Why carry them if you can buy it online and have it delivered to your doorstep?
Haters, get a life! You have no business in what I post on my instagram account. People say that I shouldn’t have posted those pictures in respect for those starving poor people. But what starving people are you talking about? I don’t see them on instagram! So how can my pictures affect them?
And why are you saying that my mom is a criminal? Why are you accusing her of leeching pork barrel funds of P10 Billion and above! My mom and dad has legitimate businesses, they tell me. They don’t tell me what it actually is, but I am sure it’s legit. I mean, she is friends with powerful senators and congressmen! Can criminals be friends with Senators and Congressmen? I don’t think so. My point exactly. You just got schooled, son.
janet-napoles-carousel-20130725
Can criminals be friends with Senators and Congressmen? I don’t think so.
And, let’s just say for a bit that those senators and congressmen indeed were scammed from their pork barrel funds. Don’t they have like accountants and staff that monitors the money they disburse? And are you telling me that Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile who was supposed to be one of the victims, got scammed by my mom? Isn’t he like idolized by the whole country because he’s like super intelligent and stuff? He’s like 140 years old! Don’t tell me he was outsmarted by my mom? And what about Senators Jinggoy Estrada and Bong Revilla? Hello! They are intelligent people, that’s why Filipinos elected them in the first place, right? They are like future presidents and vice-presidents for chrissakes! What about Sen. Bong Bong Marcos, he’s like the son of the most intelligent president, right? You have videos and stuff floating around youtube and facebook on how great his dad was. Haven’t you heard of DNA? Case closed ‘yer honor.
1sens
I was asking my parents what businesses they run. They said, it’s a surprise and I’ll learn what it is once they appoint me as COO of the company after I finish my post-graduate studies in England, or maybe in Switzerland or France. Awesome parents, don’t you think?! They always love to surprise me! And COO right away! No, it’s not Chief Operating Officer, that would be my dad, silly! My COO title stands for Child Of the Owner. Awwwwee! A sweet personalized position for their daughter! You’re the best mom, you still treat me like your little princess!
To end this letter, let me say it again: You don’t have any frickin business in what I post. It’s our money anyway: blood, sweat and tears and all those stuff. I don’t care if there are like poor people who exists, because they are not my friends in instagram anyway. They’re not even my friends in real life, so it’s like, hello! And remember, poor people don’t have instagram, so they won’t be offended with what I post. What would they use to have their selfies in the first place, laundry soap bars?
I don’t care about their problems because I am busy with the problems of my BFF’s. Like Trixie, one of my BFF’s, because she just broke up with her good-for-nothing boyfriend! Don’t worry Trix, I’m here for yah! Bessies forever! I’m gonna BBM you later, okay? What’s your BBM pin again? I kinda left it on my iPhone 5 at home because I am using my Galaxy S4 right now in the car. Can you text me your BBM pin on my MyPhone?
What, don’t I have the right to own a MyPhone? See, I sympathize with the common people as well.
So, haters and bashers. Hate the game, not the player. And I stick my middle finger to all of you. My nail-art laden, gold with diamond ring laced, freshly aloe vera hand-spa treated middle finger to all of you.
xoxo,
Jeane (with an e)
napoles1
(someone posted this @ BongBong Marcos United FB Group page.
i don't know if this is legit or made up) lol
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