Best jokes ever..

[gibra'al]

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not that funny. pero nahimuot japon ko.

[bizz_dakk]

[bizz_dakk]

“AHENTE NAGDALA UG VACUUM CLEANER…

Ahente: (toktok balay,nidretso og sulod og gisabwag ang tae sa kabayo sa salug)



“mam!, kung dli ni malimpyo sa akong vacuum cleaner sulod sa singko minutos aq ning kan-on!”



Mrs: “Na hala! Sugdi nag kaon ky brownout raba amawa ka!!!”

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if u want to

FORGET someone,,



tinud.a oi,,

dili kay mg.send2x kag quotes..



unya kung mureply,

kiligon pud ka!

[bizz_dakk]

APO : Lola, attend kog tiparts ha.
LOLA : Unsa ng tiparts bah?
APO : Tiparts gud,, party bah, sa binali,,
LOLA : Mao nay inistoryahan ug istambay! Mga PS mn diay mo tanan,,
APO : Unsa ng PS la?
LOLA : Pakeng shet!




BOY : Blessed me father for I have sinned..
PARI : Go ahead my son..
BOY : Nanlili ko ug babae, naligo man tu cya, kita iyang dughan, dako kayo ug boobs, puti kayo ug paa, nya gahubo ug panty,,
PARI : Unsa pa?
BOY : Wa na kay ni brown out man,,
PARI : Atay jud ning VECO oi!

[s3cr3t]

Bana: bad breath man ka dai ui. .
Asawa: mao na dha di lage mag hubog2 aron di ***** imo kaistorya! tarung dri ug higda animal!

[bula1980]

Sundalo- Sumuko na kayo! Wala rin kayong mapapala!
Terorista- Susuko lang kami pag nai-spell mo ang ceasefire!
Sundalo- Ganun ba?! Sige,tuloy ang laban! Patay kung patay!

[shaijean]

mama: anak, kay tungod 4 years old naman ka, dili naka pwede mutotoy nako huh? sabot?
anak: nganu man ma?
mama: ang kay tigulang naman ka, dapat gani pag 2 years old nmo undang naka ug totoy nako.
anak: ahhh, wala pa d i kaabot ug 2 ang edad ni papa ma?
mama:

[2nderemperror]

Today's to do list :

1. to do
2. to do
3. to do
4. to do
5. to do

:3

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haskang hasula!
i'm believing not them any more pud ba

[bizz_dakk]

GOLIAT: Grabeha anang imong iro Noy Teban, gilamon man lang ang akong iro.

TEBAN: Dili man na iro Goliat, leon man na bag-o lang gitupihan.

GOLIAT: Patay.




GOLIAT: (Isog) Hoy mga pasahero, tulis ni ihatag ang tanan ninyong kwarta.

MAESTRA: Sir ayaw tawon ko’g tulisa sir, maestra ko.

GOLIAT: Maestra diay ka dili ta lang ka tulison.

MAESTRA: Ngano man Sir.

GOLIAT: Nahibalo ko og unsay sulod anang imong bag ... polboron na nga baligya








TULOK: “Pare, kabalo ka anang kasabihang “tell me who your friends are? Dili ko kabalo sa sumpay.”

KULAS: “Ah, kana ba? Ingun ani na Pre, tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you my friends pud!”




Tatay: Dong, sak-a ang mangga ug hikapa kung hinog na ba.

Anak: (nisaka) Tay, hinog na!

Tatay: Na hala, kanaog na diha kay atong kuhiton.



Happy Easter!!

[zHun]

who has a mind of child? naughty joke..


A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students the
teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"

Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade.My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"

The Teacher had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While
the boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he
would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Boy.: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Boy.: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think
Boy can go to the third-grade." the teacher says to the principal, "I
have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy. both agree.
the teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two
of?

Boy., after a moment "Legs."

Teacher : "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Boy.: "Pockets."

Teacher : What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The
principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Boy. was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before
he could stop the answer...

Boy.: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Boy.: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, a bit
tense.

Boy.: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?

Boy.: Firetruck

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if you dont get
it u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork

Teacher: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?

Boy.: SURNAME

Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

"Send this Boy to College, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"