HELP How do GUYS show they love/like someone?

[nemmo723]

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thanks again Nemmo723...but you know what, been wondering...when do you knwo that it's time to say goodbye....as they say, "Guys don't know how to say goodbye and girls don't know WHEN to say goodbye...."

Generals and Nemmo723, i would like to ask you...if in case the guy will never present his intentions clearly...then is it time to let go or to stop entertaining all sorts of possibilities?....

nalingaw ko sa imong quote na "Guys don't know how to say goodbye and girls don't know WHEN to say goodbye....", murag bagay jud ning duha (guys & girls).. i can say my view for guys, but i can only guess for girls..

id say guys don't know how to say goodbye coz they're afraid of being left alone themselves, u know how guys are.. they're still little boys within, di gusto biya-an sa mama ba.. it takes great courage and strength within to say goodbye for a guy.. there are many types of goodbyes, pero most guys i know take the goodbye the serious type man gud.. a guy has to learn to strengthen himself from within before he can truly learn how to say goodbye. (so this is one criteria for u to measure if the guy is strong within, kanang naa faith sa iyang self, not in an overbearing conceited way, but the type na secure xa sa iyang self)

the way i learned this, it was tricky. i tried to look at it from a new and different perspective, like saying goodbye to me is like just finishing a chapter of the book, but not really ending the story. this is what scares most guys, when the story ends.. it puts them in a void, which can be quite dark and lonesome emotionally. i bore that in little gaps lng, kung ma-compare nko, murag naligo na ginagmay lng sa na tubig para dili kaayo bugnaw.. hehehehe.. bitaw.. i started with it by taking my life per day basis. i say goodbye, pero meet na pud ta tomorrow.. pero i am not forcing myself to expect that tomorrow, it could be na we wont meet anymore due to some circumstances beyond our control, (simbako lng ) whats important is we parted in good faith. life goes around and comes around, mag-abot ra bitaw ta somewhere kung mao jud na mahitabo.. dili pud sa serendipity style (coz i dont believe in letting the universe decide my fate), but just let things flow and leave it as it is for those things beyond my control. hehehe.. medyo lawom na jud ni.. i hope nagmake sense pa akong gitalk about..

it proved beneficial to me also that i learned to say goodbye, and i bet it will do so for anyone who learns this art and virtue of saying goodbye. in the gaps between when i am left alone, i learn more about myself, and be more sure of what i perceive to be good or bad for me. it also made me appreciate even more the silence of this universe.. it actually isn't very silent at all, in fact, i can sense things that i have never sensed before, and see beyond what i would normally see before. i just cant express it that much kay magtuo man gud ang uban na buang na kuno ko..

bitaw.. seriously, that's my take on saying goodbye. as for the girls, id guess its pretty much similar.. but i cant really vouch coz im not a girl in the first place..

[:)...:)]

wow..Nemmo723...this is some kinda therapeutic for us hehehee...sometimes it's much safer to let things out this way as long as you've got your profile details hidden hehehe...

about guys not knowing how to say goodbye, yeah i think i have seen a lot of guys like that..well yeah it has something to do with the culture or the upbringing from the parents that makes man keep the little boy within them, it takes a while for guys to mature so if the guy is not that secure, then he has the tendency to make sure, he has somebody to cling on to when he's about to say goodbye to the other one, honestly for us girls, this is selfish, even if girls do understand that this is how the way a guy says goodbye, but then if the girl know WHEN to say goodbye, she could take the hints, guys may not say it right in front of them but for sure there are gestures that simply means "goodbye".."it's over"..."i'm done"...the thing here is, even if girls actually CLEARLY read and understand the signs, girls just go denying or choose to hold on when its really perfectly definitely the time for her to let go...but i guess this is reality when it comes to closure, 1 is ready and the other is not always ready....

i like the way you say it i mean the you look at goodbye....it's closing a chapter of the book but not necessarily ending the story...and your metaphor re-inforces what you're trying to say...

"naligo na ginagmay lng sa na tubig para dili kaayo bugnaw.. crazy2 hehehehe"

yeah serendipity it's just like too good to be true when it happens, sometimes girls do keep it with them destiny, soulmate or whatever you call it...but sometimes no matter how hard you try, if things are not meant to be then i guess there's always something better for you...i always believe that in God's perfect time things will fall into place but i still do recognize the humans as we are, we are still gifted with the power to make a choice...we just have to see things in a bigger perspective and look for many options and then check things out and make a decision...


things are always easier said than done, so as saying goodbye and letting go...sometimes our capacity to cope up with circumstances differs, considering gender for example guys and girls have different ways of coping up...but i think both will be better when both tries to take the courage to take the first step which is acceptance of whatever siatuation he/she is into...from then on the person will have a better control of things when he/she keeps in touch with the real score...

Nemmo723 let me tell you, you are making sense so don't worry...

i really enjoy exchanging thoughts with all guys here...

[K_I_D_O]

hello Kido, thanks for taking your time in sharing your views..

thanks for the solutions presented...

SMS and emails will do, but do you have any idea if its too much?...i guess guys fins it annoying when girls try to overdo things right?

Well bridge is the owner as the say...i dunno if he entertains the thought of having a middleman, at his age?...

SMS and emails will do, but do you have any idea if its too much?

Nah.....The girl will only be asking whats it his mind and might offer help if necessary. She won't express how she feels for the guy..He should be the one asking the question

i guess guys finds it annoying when girls try to overdo things

It depends on what girls are doing....But this does not apply to all including me

Since email or SMS will do for the girl then thats a good start. And if ever the girl gets a bad response then so be it at least the girl knows and can do what is necessary. All things in a relationship won't move unless one gives in (Its a give and take situation nowadays)
Hope the girl can fix her situation positively.


@nemmo723

Glad to hear your handling things ok during those time. Most people that can't accept the situation usually goes to vices (Drinking, Drugs, etc) and if worse comes to worse even suicidal. As for me, really can't imagine myself breaking up with my GF w/c i'm already planning to marry maybe late this year or next ..would even die for her (metaphorically speaking) hahaha.

But these things like you said apply only to serious guys. Most people i know(having 3 or more ex-gf's) just laugh about it and will hunt for another one when the can which i think are common nowadays ....

I really can't picture which is worse... The guy breaking up with his GF or a girl breaking up with her BF....

[:)...:)]

yeah..let's just hope the girl can fox the situation well...

good for you Kido...goodluck to you and your GF

"All things in a relationship won't move unless one gives in (Its a give and take situation nowadays) "
this is true but somehow, society certain standards on whose going to make the first move...however nowadays don;t really know if it still matters...but for me honestly it does matter...

I really can't picture which is worse... The guy breaking up with his GF or a girl breaking up with her BF....

for this matter, i guess the gender is not the thing to be considered, but in a relationship, there's always someone who loves more...so i guess the one who loves more would feel worse...

what you think guys?...

[K_I_D_O]

good for you Kido...goodluck to you and your GF

Thanks....

for this matter, i guess the gender is not the thing to be considered, but in a relationship, there's always someone who loves more...so i guess the one who loves more would feel worse...

I guess so....Never did ask my GF how much she loves me ...Scared?

this is true but somehow, society certain standards on whose going to make the first move...however nowadays don;t really know if it still matters...but for me honestly it does matter...

Some guys just have too much pride that they can't accept things they don't want to hear from someone. So instead, they keep them to themselves but in the end they will regret it (Way mahay mag una as they say)...But its nice to see men in control on a relationship, (I do sometimes ra hahaha) but some say girls mature faster that us guys( I belong to this though )..

I just hope that the guy (in case she likes/loves the girl) would make a move while there is still time. :mrgreen:

Any updates on the situation?

[nemmo723]

thanks K_I_D_O god bless on ur marriage.. :mrgreen:

@nemmo723
Glad to hear your handling things ok during those time. Most people that can't accept the situation usually goes to vices (Drinking, Drugs, etc) and if worse comes to worse even suicidal. As for me, really can't imagine myself breaking up with my GF w/c i'm already planning to marry maybe late this year or next ..would even die for her (metaphorically speaking) hahaha.

But these things like you said apply only to serious guys. Most people i know(having 3 or more ex-gf's) just laugh about it and will hunt for another one when the can which i think are common nowadays ....

yeah, its quite common that most guys who cannot accept the situation would usually go to vices (drinking and drugs) and if worse jud, ma-suicidal.. i admit, i walked that path once before, and man did i scare the shit out of everyone around me.. i guess i've learned that i gotta take care of myself more and as much as possible avoid anymore of that disturbance to my emotional welfare. right now, i'm involved with my gf for over 2 years na, and i'm loving it.. (she's very beautiful and sexy.. ).

ive also come to a point back then wherein i could say that a man can go so far in keeping a relationship intact to a point of not knowing himself anymore... fortunately, i've come farther away from that, and managed to redefine myself in a better light than that darkness ive been thru.

i really cant blame guys if they'd resort to vices or other earth-shattering alternatives, but they have to take responsibility for what they have chosen to do to themselves afterwards (inasmuch as i have taken responsibility of myself and climbed out of that hole..)

its a case-to-case basis bai.. i went into that ordeal after my 3rd gf (so the 4th na), so i cant really say na its the usual thing for guys with 3 or more ex-gfs to do.. maybe it runs in our blood, coz one of cuzins did the same thing too..

as for marriage, ive changed my idea of that totally.. well not totally, but im not in a hurry so much anymore about marriage coz im enjoying my life very much at the moment. i love my girlfriend, she knows i take good care of her very much, and we've talked about that as well, but we still have so many things we want to do. i don't want to tie her into me for whatever options she might come across in the future, and same goes to me. its a whole new ballgame that marriage thing, and i know it has its joys and happiness as well, but i aint cut for that yet. i could say that im pretty much seriously involved with my gf that were practically married na, but no lock-ups jst yet. later na na when we begin to have children, as personally, i think marriage was made for the sanctity of the children. kung wala pa mga anak, mas-romantic ug exciting kung uyab inyong huna2x with each other.

yeah serendipity it's just like too good to be true when it happens, sometimes girls do keep it with them destiny, soulmate or whatever you call it...but sometimes no matter how hard you try, if things are not meant to be then i guess there's always something better for you...i always believe that in God's perfect time things will fall into place but i still do recognize the humans as we are, we are still gifted with the power to make a choice...we just have to see things in a bigger perspective and look for many options and then check things out and make a decision...

Nemmo723 let me tell you, you are making sense so don't worry...

i really enjoy exchanging thoughts with all guys here...

thanks smiley..

[:)...:)]

Kido..

you don't have to ask your girlfriend, you can feel it...the way you're feeling of the moment i think your gf has done pretty well to make you feel secure so no worries!...

Kido are you asking me for updates on the situation?...

if you can review a little of the thread, i already mentioned bout the girls not knowing when to say goodbye...(do i sound pathetic!...there was never us to begin with!)..

anyways Kido i'm about to drop all probables and any sort of possibilities to any sort of future...
i mean like how Nemmo723 viewed goodbye..its like closing a chapter of the book but not necessarily ending the story...

anyways if i'll have developments anytime sooner maybe i'l be asking you guys again...

[nemmo723]

for this matter, i guess the gender is not the thing to be considered, but in a relationship, there's always someone who loves more...so i guess the one who loves more would feel worse...

I guess so....Never did ask my GF how much she loves me ...Scared? sad

on this part, i would beg to differ. like i posted in that other thread, it don't matter if you loved more than the other person. love is love, there's no hate or regret in that. afterwards ra na ang hate ug regret if proud ang person.. its pride man gud.. na-tandog iyang ego, and ppl go to great lengths just trying to undo what was done when it couldn't be undone anymore. the best way to get over such pride issue is very simple lng jud, but oh so hard to do. first accept the situation, and then learn to humble oneself. loving someone and losing isn't so bad man.. its a humbling experience which makes one even stronger and more beautiful inside.. a shining moment of a noble soul.

i dont vouch this for myself, because i have trouble with this myself pa, i vouch this for those people i have witnessed first hand.. makahilak gud ta sa kanindot, in awe jud ko for those kinds of persons who would humble themselves even when they have lost...

some ppl think this is ridiculous, but i believe it is very doable. i am beginning to practice it myself to the best of my ability. some would say na santos ra makabuhat ani, pero dili man tawn. and i think i can confidently say na for those who are able to muster the strength of character to humble oneself even after one has lost, nindot ra jud ang muhappen afterwards. :mrgreen: you will inherit the earth for whatever wishes you desire as one beautitude states ("blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth") but take care not to think about it coz it will only lead u to expectations and thus fall into the trap of disappointments and pride..

[K_I_D_O]

Oh shoot ....forgot about that...my apologies still suffering from memory losses due to my medication .....*no kidding*


"I just hope that the guy (in case she likes/loves the girl) would make a move while there is still time. "

Guess this is no longer applicable...just hope regrets won't occur

you don't have to ask your girlfriend, you can feel it...the way you're feeling of the moment i think your gf has done pretty well to make you feel secure so no worries!...

Thanks, appreciate that

BTW, heads up always .....things will be brighter sooner than you think...

@nemmo723

yeah, its quite common that most guys who cannot accept the situation would usually go to vices (drinking and drugs) and if worse jud, ma-suicidal.. i admit, i walked that path once before, and man did i scare the shit out of everyone around me.. evil i guess i've learned that i gotta take care of myself more and as much as possible avoid anymore of that disturbance to my emotional welfar

Glad you've handled the situation positively.

right now, i'm involved with my gf for over 2 years na, and i'm loving it.. smitten (she's very beautiful and sexy.. Azn cheesy).

Whoaw....so you've better be good to have her maybe for a lifetime.. And be careful, earth is filled with scavengers...wakekeke

ive also come to a point back then wherein i could say that a man can go so far in keeping a relationship intact to a point of not knowing himself anymore... fortunately, i've come farther away from that, and managed to redefine myself in a better light than that darkness ive been thru

From Earth to Heaven.....nice .......been there ever since i had my 1 n only GF and hope to never come back

its a case-to-case basis bai.. i went into that ordeal after my 3rd gf (so the 4th na), so i cant really say na its the usual thing for guys with 3 or more ex-gfs to do.. maybe it runs in our blood, coz one of cuzins did the same thing too

You guys are strong willed....just don't try the 5th :mrgreen:

as for marriage, ive changed my idea of that totally.. well not totally, but im not in a hurry so much anymore about marriage coz im enjoying my life very much at the moment. i love my girlfriend, she knows i take good care of her very much, and we've talked about that as well, but we still have so many things we want to do. i don't want to tie her into me for whatever options she might come across in the future, and same goes to me. its a whole new ballgame that marriage thing, and i know it has its joys and happiness as well, but i aint cut for that yet. i could say that im pretty much seriously involved with my gf that were practically married na, but no lock-ups jst yet. later na na when we begin to have children, as personally, i think marriage was made for the sanctity of the children. kung wala pa mga anak, mas-romantic ug exciting kung uyab inyong huna2x with each other

Same here bro same here...been living together with my GF for 6yrs+ now (she's in dubai since 03/01/07 ).. Children is not yet in the picture but marriage is clear for now...hehe

some ppl think this is ridiculous, but i believe it is very doable. i am beginning to practice it myself to the best of my ability. some would say na santos ra makabuhat ani, pero dili man tawn. and i think i can confidently say na for those who are able to muster the strength of character to humble oneself even after one has lost, nindot ra jud ang muhappen afterwards. thumbsup you will inherit the earth for whatever wishes you desire as one beautitude states ("blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth") but take care not to think about it coz it will only lead u to expectations and thus fall into the trap of disappointments and pride..

Its hard but needs strength.....err...Handle pride i can but strength i do not... *yoda*

[Generals]

Generals and Nemmo723, i would like to ask you...if in case the guy will never present his intentions clearly...then is it time to let go or to stop entertaining all sorts of possibilities?....

after sometime, nya wala gihapon... yes, i think it would be best to move on.. or you might end up waiting for nothing...

lisod sad na dba?