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Thread: court ;)

  1. #1

    Default court ;)


    I received this email a long long time ago, and for some strange reason I printed it out and after many many years, I found this piece of thing, and just wanted to share it with everyone... ENJOY!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts, and are things that people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who made the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: Are you sexually active?
    A: No, I just lie there.
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July 18th
    Q: What year?
    A: every year
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: This Myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    A: Yes!
    Q: and in what ways does it affect your memory?
    A: I forget
    Q: you forget? can you give us an example of something you've forgotten?
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, i cant remember which
    Q: How long has he lived with you?
    A: Forty-five years
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
    A: He said, "Where am I Cathy?"
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
    A: We both do
    Q: Voodoo?
    A: We do
    Q: You do?
    A: Yes, Voodoo
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, How old is he?
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: So you are the baby's mother and the date of the conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And what were you doing at that time?
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: She had three children right?
    A: yes
    Q: How many were boys?
    A: none.
    Q: and were there any girls?
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: How was you first marriage terminated?
    A: by death
    Q: and by whose death was it terminated?
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: can you describe the individual?
    A: he was about medium height and had a beard
    Q: was this a male or a female?
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which i sent to your attorney?
    A: No, this is how i dress when i go to work
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: ALL your responses must be ORAL, OK? What School did you go to?
    A: Oral
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: Did you recall the time you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy starte around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    A: YES. It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
    __________________________________________________ ___

    AYAW PAGBINOGO ATTY. !

  2. #2

    Default Re: court ;)

    hahahaha.. laugh out loud

  3. #3

    Default Re: court ;)

    pagka nindot!! hahaha!

  4. #4

    Default Re: court ;)

    pagka nlng jd!hahahaha

  5. #5

    Default Re: court ;)

    kagets jud sila ahhahha

  6. #6
    C.I.A. LeeLeePot's Avatar
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    Default Re: court ;)

    imba...hahahahhaha

  7. #7

    Default Re: court ;)

    This is real funny but on the lawyer's POV, I think that they are doing it on purpose to find flaws and inconsistencies. It might sound stupid but some people fall into this.

    But for humor's sake, two thumbs up!

    Quote Originally Posted by yiennahs View Post
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    A: YES. It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
    __________________________________________________ ___
    Epic! haha!

  8. #8

    Default Re: court ;)

    wow pagka jud!hahahaha

  9. #9

    Default Re: court ;)

    hahahaha made me LOL!..

  10. #10

    Default Re: court ;)

    Har har har!I love it!

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