Critiques Needed

[andoi]

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hollo fellow iStoryans,

just need some input from y'all.

1. pls critique on melody
2. pls critique on lyrics
3. pls DONT critique on my voice, for this was recorded at 3.21 am!!!!

thanks..

www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=271681&songID=2660628

[sheeshcute]

* Dude, i like your song. ya and your song reminds me of Marty Sampson (hillsongs) when he was still starting. keep on making beautiful love songs for Him. :mrgreen:

Am no musician, pero hilig ko minaw og music. so, i'll do the best i can.
mao ni akong nakit-an that i think that needs your attention:

* You punced your card out (punched, typo error cguro no?)

* You take a bite (sa imong pagkanta you said there "you grab a bite", which sounds mas cool)
On the barbeque stand (kung "AT the barbecue stand" does it sounds better?)

[andoi]

uy thanks,, like marty? really? hehehe..

typo... err....

[sheeshcute]

* OT: pagka dungog nako si Marty dayon ang nisuod sa akong utok. Maybe gusto ka e encourage sa BIG MAN up there. :mrgreen: for His glory hap?

[nailworms]

nice song a typical event that happenned everyday particularly a working girl! need a good recording though but the song was great and the lyrics too! keep it up!

[usrolla]

the lyrics and the song itself is great bro...nice job! :mrgreen: just one thing lng is the recording needs improvement

[cebugdev]

bai andoi great job bro! dli na lagi ka mo txt nako para nyung jam? hehehehe jok2x ra pre..
as usual bilib jd ko nmo sa imng mga compo..

[andoi]

* OT: pagka dungog nako si Marty dayon ang nisuod sa akong utok. Maybe gusto ka e encourage sa BIG MAN up there. :mrgreen: for His glory hap?

4HIS glory, not mine..

nice song a typical event that happenned everyday particularly a working girl! need a good recording though but the song was great and the lyrics too! keep it up!

thanks, yup i was thinking of a busy working girl when i wrote this one. i even have the video already (in my mind) .. this is just a demo recorded sa ako pc.. wala pay budget para adto rec studio..

the lyrics and the song itself is great bro...nice job! :mrgreen: just one thing lng is the recording needs improvement

thanks bro,.. ya, i have to come up with big bucks pra lng jud maka rec ko ako tanan songs independently... struggle jud ang music industry da.. heheheh

bai andoi great job bro! dli na lagi ka mo txt nako para nyung jam? hehehehe jok2x ra pre..
as usual bilib jd ko nmo sa imng mga compo..

uy bai ruell, msta na bai.. ang atong guitar guro na ato lng tagoon sa pangan na c carlo borromeo nag recording na jud bai... he got his game already.. cant wait to his band perform na.. mga numbawan fans ta niya..heheheh... bitaw bai, solo2 ko ron.. ga tigum pa pra maka record...

kita kits lng nya ta kahayag,,, plano ko 2kar balik didto inig open mic ds 30th

[tingkagol]

hello.

it's ok, i guess. But i feel you need to up the tempo a bit. It dragged. Pretty predictable vocal melody too. The lyrics are ok for a pop song. Just my honest input.

bye.

[Kclan]

keep it up bro.