*What's brown and white and flops on the beach?
A Filipino and a seagull fighting over a fish!
*What is a Filipino's idea of devastation?
It's where you catch de bus.
*How does a Filipino use "devastation" in a sentence?
Hoy auntie, don't you have to go buy your ticket at "DEVASTATION"? (get it the bus station
)
*What's the difference between select and choose ??
Select is when you pick out something...choose is what Filipinos wear on their feet !!!
*What do you call a Filipino walking a dog?
A vegetarian.
*What do you get when you cross a Filipino & Hawaiian?
Somebody who loves to clean yard but no more land.
*There are three Santas on the Roof. Which one is the Filipino one?
The one in the bunny suit.
Q: Pano mo malalaman na may “tangang” pumasok sa loob ng sabungan?
A: Ang dalang panabong ay “itik”.
Q: Pano mo malalaman na may “inutil” sa loob ng sabungan?
A: Pag may pumusta sa itik!
Q: E pano mo malalaman na nasa loob ng sabungan si FG Mike Arroyo?
A: PAG NANALO YUNG ITIK !!
Use SCHOOLING in a sentence. *Ring, ring*…..Hello? Who SCHOOLING?
Use UNO, DOSE, TRES in a sentence. UNO! DOSE TRES are on fire!!!
Use CHICKEN NUT BREAD in a sentence. Aye Jun-Jun, Stop choking your sister! CHICKEN NUT BREAD!
What are the three prides of the Phillipines? Pride fish, pride chicken, and pride rice.
Use TENACIOUS in a sentence. I went to The Athlete’s Foot yesterday to buy a pair of TENACIOUS.
Use CONTEMPLATE in a sentence. I went to a party last night. There was so much food pero co-CONTEMPLATE.
Use CURTAIN and KITCHEN in one sentence. Aray! Huwag mo akong CURTAIN. Masa-KITCHEN.
Use PUNCTUATION in a sentence. Daddy, pasukan na next week. Kailangan ko ng PUNCTUATION.
Use GUAVA in a sentence. I just had a haircut. Masa-GUAVA?
Use DEDUCT,DEFENSE, DEFEAT, and DETAIL in a sentence. DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE but DETAIL landed before DEFEAT.
Use DEPOSIT in a sentence. Paki-check nga ang banyo. I think DEPOSIT is leaking.
Use PERSUADING in a sentence. Kiko and Kikay got married on June 1, 1992 so on June 1, 1993, they are going to celebrate their PERSUADING anniversary.
Use DEVASTATION in a sentence. I wait for the bus at DEVASTATION every morning.
Use CONCLUSION and OPINION in one sentence. (Pointing to a door): CONCLUSION, hindi OPINION.
Use PAMPERS and PAPERS in one sentence. At the gasoline station, I asked the attendant, “Do I PAMPERS or do I PAPERS?”
Use DIFFERENCE and DIFFERENCES in one sentence. If the royal family has a baby boy, he is called DIFFERENCE; if they have a baby girl, she is called DIFFERENCES.
Use PROTESTANT in a sentence. Apples, oranges, and other fruits can be bought at the PROTESTANT.
Use ANALYZE and ANATOMY in one sentence. My ANALYZE over the ocean so bring back my ANATOMY.
Use IRAQ, IRAN and EGYPT in one sentence. IRAQ is bigger than a stone; IRAN is faster than a walk; and EGYPT is smaller than a truck.
Use INDAY in a sentence. (In your best Whitney Houston voice): INDAAAAAAAAAAY will always love you…ooooooo.
Use ASSOCIATE in a sentence. My dog smelled awful kasi naman pala next to him, ASSOCIATE.
Use DINUGUAN in a sentence. I tried turning on the TV but no matter how many times I tried DINUGUAN.
Use PAUL five times in a sentence. PAUL, be carePAUL; you might PAUL in the swimming PAUL and make a PAUL of yourself.
Use HOSTESS in a sentence. To answer a ringing telephone, you say, “HOSTESS?”
Use CASHEW and SKATE in a sentence. I want to have a tattoo sana CASHEW mukhang ma-SKATE e.
Use CUISINE in a sentence. I hope you studied last night because your teacher might give a surprise CUISINE Math.
The Cup Of Tea story
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.
Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.
Then she says, (as only a mother would know..
‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?
filo jokes...
Originally Posted by lady_blackrose
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