My Plan (some ranttings of my heart...)

[kaytee]

---

For the past years, it's been pretty weird realizing how things have changed a lot with our lives. It's pretty amazing to note how things have got so complicated yet it's also nice to know how we've grown mature in seeing unusual predicaments in life. I just can't help but wonder what's next...I mean you'll never know really what a box of chocolates can give until you open them right?

I noticed before, we used to love the thought of having someone in our lives who can love us more than we love them.

We always fantasized on a soul that can give us more than their lives in living. I mean, unconsciously we extend the utmost efforts to care for someone so that they too can do much for us, and twice even more. Nothing wrong with that, but in the end, if we don't know how to handle things, that kind of love is the source of "abuse" as I might harshly say.

We may not admit but oftentimes when our significant other has manifestly showed us the love that we always wanted, inevitably we tend to ignore them in the long run. Is it because we knew of the fact that they will always be there for us or is it because too much of everything is always bad enough? It's like a wonderful painting on the wall. Once you find something so beautiful, you tend to get close to the beauty to the point of being inches away.

What do you get now? Only a small picture of the whole beauty...You now slowly drift away from the thing that you loved and miss the beauty from afar. But wait till you back from the painting a few steps again when you first saw it. What do you get now?The entire picture that captured your heart and took your breathe away when you first saw it.

Human as I am, I did commit that mistake of making sure love was heavier on the other side. I remembered watching the film If Only, and I remembered what the character of Jennifer Love Hewitt wrote in her diary. It goes something like, "...they say in relationships, there will always be someone who loves more...and I hope it's not me..." Well, she couldn't have said it better. I admit, I used to wish for the same thing before. But now, I don't know why things turned the other way around... I missed the feeling when you could even hear your heart beat stronger just by seeing him. I missed the feeling of even smelling his scent despite being miles apart. I missed the feeling of imagining his soft hands being in my palm when we strolled.

I don't know why I'm ready again to be the one on the heavier side of things. I know a lot of you could relate to the situation where you're entirely ready to give out a lot but no one is there to share it with..

I met someone just this summer.

Well, I thought he might be the one because it felt entirely different. I don't know if I was challenged or I had really something different for him.

I still don't know... The sad thing is, as much as I wanted to be there and to get to know him, things just wouldn't allow me.

First, there was so much emotional baggage on him that I felt like now is not the right time to be in the picture.

Second, I know for a fact that he likes someone else.

Lastly, I just can't help but be cautious on the emotional side that I might carelessly give out in a short span of time.

Yes, I had to consider these factors. Am I being too analytical? Well, maybe I am but I have to to save myself of being hurt in the end or much less be really disappointed at things... But one thing really struck me was, I'm now willing to wait for the right time to get to know him more. I mean I could have moved on and find someone else better or someone who could very well entertain me. I just don't know what he has that really caught my attention...




-=. kc'09 .=-

Soundtrack of what i wrote. try to listen to it when you can. astig sah kay naa koy OST sa ako thread. lols

Click Here >>> YouTube - One Take Sessions: "My Plan (Acoustic)" - Gabe Bondoc

" i'll put my questions on hold
and even though i feel cold
i'll be bold for you
and trust that i know my place.."


PS:

somewhat, this is the part 1 of my "the one that got away" 'coz sadly, after 3 months... he got away as well... *sigh*

[ronz_rodz]

wow nice story sis.. up for this one.. i can relate somehow... .

[kaytee]

haha. pirmi man ka maka relate ronz. daghan na jud ka naagi-an sah? mga pila kaha na? lols

[kaytee]

thanks for the up ronz

[gARN]

So this is the story behind the other thread huh?! -- "the one that got away"

Well, as mentioned (..several times), we meet a lot of people in our lives.. people come and go.. as we make new memories, we forget their names, we even forget their faces.. but those people who have left their marks in our life, their memories will continually linger..ú Hoohaa!

In relation to "the one who got away" -- I have been pondering "Y we let go of the people who are special to us.. Y do we allow them to leave? or Y do we push them away?" Sad to say m going nowhere.. There are endless reasons which can not be quantified.. so many variables which can not be eliminated.. Damn! If I can only get the answer to the abovementioned questions, I know i'd get a Noble Prize..ú Lifes lil' (..or is it enormous) mysteries.. Blah!

[kaytee]

So this is the story behind the other thread huh?! -- "the one that got away"

Well, as mentioned (..several times), we meet a lot of people in our lives.. people come and go.. as we make new memories, we forget their names, we even forget their faces.. but those people who have left their marks in our life, their memories will continually linger..ú Hoohaa!

In relation to "the one who got away" -- I have been pondering "Y we let go of the people who are special to us.. Y do we allow them to leave? or Y do we push them away?" Sad to say m going nowhere.. There are endless reasons which can not be quantified.. so many variables which can not be eliminated.. Damn! If I can only get the answer to the above mentioned questions, I know i'd get a Noble Prize..ú Lifes lil' (..or is it enormous) mysteries.. Blah!

haha. part 1 and the "one that got away" was part 3. that means. ill be writting my part 2 pa. lols

we always ponder gARN. and still, you end up.. still pondering.

just embrace the mystery and you'll be alright. haha




wala naman koy sense mo sturya woi... grrr.. to eager to take my flight guro. hays. mayta safe ra later woi...

[gARN]

haha. part 1 and the "one that got away" was part 3. that means. ill be writting my part 2 pa. lols

we always ponder gARN. and still, you end up.. still pondering.

just embrace the mystery and you'll be alright. haha




wala naman koy sense mo sturya woi... grrr.. to eager to take my flight guro. hays. mayta safe ra later woi...

Embrace the mystery = alright?! Nah, I want answers.. I dont want to settle for alright -- I want it incredible/extraordinary.. Hehe..ú aha! i'll try to google 'em questions later.. or Maybe "How Stuff Works" or "Mental Floss" have some answers that will satisfy me.. Nyaks! Moreover, embracing is not my thing.. I prefer POWER HUGS..Hehe..ú


I hate Saturdays in the office.. It bores me to death.. =(

[kaytee]

Embrace the mystery = alright?! Nah, I want answers.. I dont want to settle for alright -- I want it incredible/extraordinary.. Hehe..ú aha! i'll try to google 'em questions later.. or Maybe "How Stuff Works" or "Mental Floss" have some answers that will satisfy me.. Nyaks! Moreover, embracing is not my thing.. I prefer POWER HUGS..Hehe..ú


I hate Saturdays in the office.. It bores me to death.. =(

haha. alryt.

*power huuuug*

tsaka...

*power k...*

aw hug nalang. lols

[gARN]

haha. alryt.

*power huuuug*

tsaka...

*power k...*

aw hug nalang. lols

See.. This is the reason Y i like posting here at "Love is.." -- you get free hugs and k...ú (fill-in the dots) Plus u get to express your thoughts on topics most of us (if not all..) can relate to.. Whew!

Where's "Part 2" Ms. Kaytee? -- m looking forward to reading it..ú

[beyee]

"...they say in relationships, there will always be someone who loves more...and I hope it's not me..."

--
since day one, i've always dreamt of being loved more but i often get myself into situations where i give love even more til it consume me then once broken, it wud be hard to pick up the pieces and move on... what only consoles me is the thought that "i showed him love which he can't get from anyone else..." BUT at the end of the day I always ask myself when will I ever be loved like that? When can I even takea backseat and let him woo me... It's just not simple after all...

situation where you're entirely ready to give out a lot but no one is there to share it with..

--- this sucks... you reach to a point that u have all the LOVE in the world to give yet you have no one to share it with.. or you meet someone who is so hang up with his gf who mistreats him and everytime he confides in you, u always comfort him and end up saying in ur thoughts, "hahaysss, ako nalang unta.. i would never hurt you..." but like I said... It's just not simple after all...