Originally Posted by
godsaint
Hope daghan maka relate..
Of course you've heard of joe d mango. He gives advice on love and
relationships on Wave 89.1. Have u ever wondered what he does when he
has
his own
love problems? Does he give advice to himself? Does he handle it very
well?
Here's his story:
Three fridays ago, our guru on relationships, joe d mango, read a
letter to his wife on his popular radio program Love Notes. For the
past 11 years, he had been giving advice to people who would write
him letters about their personal problems. To the surprise of his
listeners that friday, instead of reading one of his usual letters,
he read one that he had written himself to his wife Bing.
Joe felt that he had to tell his listeners that even someone like him
could go through a marital crisis, but that he survived it. Here's
how his letter goes.
In our 11 years of marriage it was just the two of us. I never had a
close circle of friends and she never had one either. Life for us was
just "you and me," day in and day out. We were literally sleeping
beside each other for 11 years. It came to point that there was
nothing more interesting to talk about. I was aware I was doing that
but I never did anything about it. We were so close yet it seemed
like we were so distant. Then came her new circle of
friends.
They recently had an elementary and high school reunion. Remember her
persistent suitor since elementary days? He was there. We already had
four daughters and the guy had four kids of his own. They exchanged
phone numbers. They started to text each other and this bothered me.
a big part of it was insecurity and other part was that she once
denied that she was texting the guy.
I felt bad because she started hiding things from me. Then the guy
asked her if they could meet for lunch. It became a source of tension
between us. I finally agreed, but before that, I told her that I felt
that I was going through the same pain again. I have seen so many
stories like this. If you told me the first part of the story I would
already know where it would lead to.
Bing accused me of being a "know-it-all" person. But deep in my heart
I knew where she was heading. Why would a married guy see a married
girl unless it was for business or professional reasons? Finally,
even if it was against my will, I drove her to the meeting place.
While I was waiting at the radio station, I wanted to call her but
knew it wasn't proper. So I just waited for her to tell me how their
meeting went.
When she related to me what happened I felt that she was keeping the
other details. I was afraid to ask because I wasn't prepared to
accept her answers. I told her that it would be best if that was
their last meeting. She got mad and told me that I was starting to
control her life.
The following day, I saw a small, torn piece of paper that had the
words,"lose you" in the trash can at home. I started picking up the
pieces of paper and putting them together. She had written: "Felt sad
because I felt that this will be our last meeting." "Wanted to hug
you..." Before I could figure out what the third one was, Bing was
already at my back. She wanted to get the torn pieces of paper back.
She said it was private property. We decided to talk.
By then, I was able to figure out the third line: "Not sure if afraid
to lose you." She had crossed it out and beside it, she had
written, "Wanted to cry."
That was what hit me. How could you lose something that's not even
with you yet? That was a confirmation that she was getting
emotionally attached to the guy. We fought because she didn't want to
admit it. She said that what she had written was all about friendship
and not about love. For the first time in our marriage she asked for
freedom from me. For 11 years we were always together, and now this.
She had discovered her own little world and wanted to explore it. I
didn't want to give it to her but finally I gave in. I told her that
she could do anything she wanted and not worry about how I would
feel. In fact, I told her that I was planning to leave her and kids
for a while so we could give each other the chance to be alone. We
decided to give the new arrangement a try.
The following day, Thursday, I went to work early and she texted me. I
never answered back. When I didn't respond, she called me. She
said, "I'm sorry. I love you and I miss you." For the first time in
our mariage I said, "I love you and I miss you too" with tears in my
eyes.
I realized how much I loved her but I also knew how much she wanted
her freedom. When I arrived at the station I asked for a leave. My
boss advised me to think it over, but he said that he would allow me
to on leave. After letting it all out I felt relieved. It was the
first time in my life that I asked for advice about our relationship.
While I was talking with my boss, a messenger arrived with 12 white
roses arranged in a basket. It came from Bing. Then a text message on
my cellphone came, "I know that no material things can ease the pain
that you're feeling right now, but these flowers signify my pure and
sincere intentions.
I'm really sorry. Please forgive me."
Still, a question continued to bug me: "I'm giving you the freedom.
Will you choose to stay or go on?" I read the card, and it had the
answer to my question: "Dear Dad, I finally realized that I made a
very big mistake in choosing a newfound friendship at the expense of
our long-time friendship. Please forgive me. I wil always love you."
Bing called the guy and told him that she wanted to end the
friendship. He said that they could just text or call each other.
Bing said that there was no need.
We had dinner and talked up to 1 am. It was like getting married all
over again. We lost each other and found our way back. I do not want
to go through the same pain again.
Friday came and it was the first time in the history of Love Notes
that I couldn't do Love Notes. I scheduled a replay. When I was at
the station at 9am,I composed a letter to Bing. I was asking myself,
should I read this or do a replay? I chose to read the letter. It is
not unusual to hear people say "I love you because...," but this
story has shown us that the deeper and greater love is
having to say "I LOVE YOU IN SPITE OF..."
what hurts most?
..when you can't fight for that one thing that would make you happy..
..I may never be the guy you look forward to seeing every day.,
but I will always be the guy who will look out for you each and every
day..
sadgurl: "don't make me feel that i'm just a selfish jerk just because
I
made you cry"!
sadguy: "then don't make me feel like I did nothing for you when I
almost
died crying just to see you smile..."
Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And so we ask ourselves:
will
our actions echo across the centuries?
Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we
were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved?
love is when you can't sleep.., it's when you want to keep your eyes
open..
love isn't when you keep holding on.., it's when you learn to let go..
love isn't when you kill yourself with jealousy.., it's when you
understand..
love isnt' when you fall for someone.., it's when you catch that person
when she falls..
love isn't when you see her everywhere.., it's when you close your eyes
and she is still there..
love isn't when you tell her what you feel.., it's when you give
everything for her sake..
And love isn't when you think you were blind.., it's when you know she
was
wrong but you didn't mind
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Love story
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