Programming Jokes

[san_cristobal]

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kalagut kau ni nga joke kay tinuod man gud.. hehe

apil pud ko bro

Software Development Cycles

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
7. Users find 137 new bugs.
8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
12. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.
13. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free…

[moz_k2]

Unix got the best commnands

unzip
strip
touch
finger
split
head
expand
fsck
more
yes
exit
unexpand
umount
sleep

[nullpointer]

apil pud ko bro

Software Development Cycles

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
7. Users find 137 new bugs.
8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
12. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.
13. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free…

...hehehe...software development life cycle...

[nullpointer]

Unix got the best commnands

unzip
strip
touch
finger
split
head
expand
fsck
more
yes
exit
unexpand
umount
sleep

nice sequence of commands...i like it...

[chill_angel25]

good jud kaayo!!! ayoshhh!!!!
daghan sad diay programer diri noh!!! i mean joker bah!!!
hehehheheheh!!!!

[nullpointer]

[san_cristobal]

Another Oh... walay pikonay ha...

How can you tell when a programmer has had s*x?
When he’s washing the pepper spray out of his eyes.

[Thelastairbender]

Some jokes i caught guyz...enjoy

There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
______________________________________________
A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken.
______________________________________________
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.

[nirdle_phogi]

define Programmer

'A Programmer is an organism that turns caffeine into a program!'

[gregg_g]

A programmer is at the airport with his wife, she needs to go to the bathroom so she tells him to stay there and look at the luggage. When she's back the programmer is counting the bags while scratching his head.

Wife: -What's wrong?

Programmer: -I don't get it. I was there, nobody took a bag, but I have missed one. We had 5 bags, but now we have only 4.

Wife: -How's that?

Programmer: -Look: zero, one, two, thee, four!

Great.. Typical C programmer jud.. Congrats to the TS, really had a grand time reading this. For the others, a great tool to ponder on while in the heat of the battle (debugging someone else's code)..