Noooose bleeeed

[mhaw]

---

AFTER ni YAYA c INDAY napod!!!!hehehhe

Amo: Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng ingles. Ang sinumang magpapadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pam amahay na to! Klaro ba?

Inday: Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban.

Amo: (Hinimatay!! !)
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Overnight inaral ng amo ni inday ang dictionary para may pantapat na siya kay inday.

Amo: so inday,tell me, how do u acCept the fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion?


Inday: una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea.


Amo: ....Pakshet ka tlga inday!



I am not a maid! Pursuant to Art. 141 of d Labor Code (PD442), persons hu render services n d employer's home 4 its maintenance & enjoyment w/c ncluds ministerng 2 d personal comfort & convenience of d members of d household, r called HOUSEHELPERS! <Langyang Inday, 2nd year pala sa Ateneo Law >
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Consul: Why do you wanna go to the US ?
Amo: To travel, to visit friends & fly the airplane.
Consul: DENIED. And you?
Inday: For life's never ending pursuit of material & social satisfaction that I tender to great intent of actualizing a transpacific journey to the land of milk and honey. An affordable sanctuary where dreams become reality & perfect habitat where souls like mine can reach the pe des tal of freedom.
Consul: *napa nosebleed* LIFETIME MULTIPLE ENTRY VISA GRANTED!
Amo: @#$%^*()! ka talaga Inday! *habang nagnonose bleed*
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Si Inday... Nagsusulat sa kanyang Mom.

Dear Mom,
Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed a moment ago.Junior has become a little monster to me.
Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabbily run academe!
Oh such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never thought being a governess can such strenuous employ!
Your Daughter,
INDAY

....Kinabukasan, ang sumagot ay ang tatay ni Inday.


Dear Inday,
WALAGHHIYA KA! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa Ospital ang nanay mo! Dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!

NAGMAMAHAL, TATAY.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

name: inocencia binayubay
nickname: inday
age: 18
parents: aling seling and mang andoy
siblings: iying (13), itoy (Cool, iking (5)
education: College - La Salle zobel 2nd yr. (Scholar)
High school - P. Gomez High school (Valedictorian, best in English)
Elementary - Sta. Monica Elementary School (Valedictorian, best in Dancing)
Work experience: 3 yrs household service manager (katulong)
amo: Mr. & Mrs. Montemayor"

------------ --------- ---

"TO WHOM IT MAY CONERN:
I would like to inform the general public that I am still ALIVE and KICKING. Contrary to the text messages that has been circulated lately. I have already seek legal advice regarding this rumor and my lawyers are already preparing legal actions for the perpetrator. There will be a bicameral investigation in aid of legislation regarding this matter.

Sincerely, Inday

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FLASH REPORT: Inday is alive she's not yet dead. SOCO found out that, the impostora of Inday was killed. Ederlyn (inday's kapitbahay) was the master mind.

SOCO: bakit mo pinatay si Inday?

Ederlyn: kasi inagaw niya sa akin si dodong!

Inday: LIAR! Not once in my life that i force myself to someone. I've got breeding you know.

Ederlyn: Dong, mahal kita,diba mahal mo din ako?

Dodong: I.....Never. ..said... .that.... I....Love You...



Donya: Alam mo Inday, bakit di ka na lang magcall center? Pa inggles inggles k naman.

Inday: I dont think that I want to have an easy money for I know that choosing such employment is already limiting myself from experiencing enthusiastic ways of expressing what I feel by means of what I do, thus imprisoning myself with an incapable mind which will result to doubt and uncontentment.


Donya: Nawalan ng malay.
____________ _______

Sa resto..

Waiter: Ano po order nila?

Amo: Yung fried chicken meal nyo na lang. Ikaw Inday?

Inday: I would like to partake of a dish of sauteed pork and chicken, boiled in thick essence of soy sauce and cane extracts, with copious amounts of garlic, onion, and laurel, sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with a generous helping of crop root and a helping of rice.


Amo: Iho, adobo with rice daw.
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Nung bata pa si Inday..

Nanay: Day, bat ba ang tigas ng ulo mo?

Inday: Inay, intransigence is just normal for us juveniles.

Nanay: Day anong nakain mo? Im perturbed by your words!

Inday: Nay, ala naman gantihan!

Nanay: Hehehehehehehehehe! !! ( Kala mo ha!!)

[thamora]

inday! ur acumen is so amazingly terrific.

where did u learn that? u know what

U can befriend me if u like, i can guarantee ur caliber will be calibrated for the best

hehehe

[mhaw]

hehehe pag txure dha!!!

7 wonders A.K.A kalolokohan sa mundo!!!

1. Lahat ng nakikita mo ay hindi sa iyo.







2. Di mo kayang bilangin ang buhok mo.















3. Hindi lahat ng ngipin mo ay abot ng dila mo.

































4. Susubukan ng mga tanga ang pangatlo (#3).
5. Ang pangatlo (#3) ay mali.
6. Mapapangiti ka kasi nagmukha kang tanga.
7. Magrereply ka or ikukuwento mo sa iba para makaganti ka.


Note: ayay murag biktima pd ni, ay sus murag wla gbuhat ang number 3. He he he... asus... aminin...

[mhaw]

Inday visits Deal or No Deal

Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, sa gameshow na ito importante ang sagot sa nag-iisang katanungang Deal or no Deal. Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang fastest-rising household services manager na si Inday!

[umentra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao]
Kris: Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.
Inday: Kris, I would opt for case #4 please.
Kris: Briefcase # 4… si Sharmel. Inday, matanong ko lang, how did you come up with the number 4?
Inday: Oh, do you really want to know Kris?
Kris: Oo naman. I’m sure kaya ko naman maintindihan yung sasabihin mo eh.
Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution function that involves integrating up to an area greater than or equal to that random number which should be generated between 0 and 1 for proper distributions.

Kris: Syet. tanong tanong pa kasi eh.
Kris: Ok Inday, choose 6 briefcases to open.
Inday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.
Kris: Wait lang Inday, usually isa isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng case…
Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we’re to open a case each time I blurt out a number as opposed to opening each case immediately one after the other right?

Kris: Hayyy…babaguhin pa talaga mechanics (bulong sa sarili).
Kris: Anwyay, di bale na lang nga… tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie buksan na!!
[Yung audience sumisigaw ng LOWER!! LOWER!!!]
Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksan… Inday, usually ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng “LOWER” every time magbubukas ng case.

Inday: Kris, I guess that’s not the way I was taught in grade school. You see, I was taught that we should only use the comparative form of the word or add “ER” to the adjective if we are comparing two things. And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to open, we have nothing to compare it to. Am I right?

[natahimik ang audience at napaisip]
Kris: Oo nga no!
Kris: Sige Natalie, Buksan mo na.
[Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso... Palakpakan ang mga tao]
Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case mo ulit?
Inday: Case number 24 please.
Kris: Chloe…buksan na…
[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!! LOWER!!]
Kris: Wait lang guys, Inday may nabuksan ng case baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng “Lower”?

Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the one we just opened? Sheesh.

[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]

Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos na. [naiirita na]
[At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang mga case ni Inday]
[nag-ring ang phone]

Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I’m not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker. It’s quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer.I mean come on, isn’t that a waste of airtime?

Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado ang kwarto ni banker]

- Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng mga audience ang boses ni banker sa Deal or no Deal.

-Woooohoooo!!! Ahahaa kakawindang talaga si Inday! LOL

[RheaAbz.]

hashahaa.....the best jud ni si inday oist..!

[xeoxander01]

Inday visits Deal or No Deal

Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, sa gameshow na ito importante ang sagot sa nag-iisang katanungang Deal or no Deal. Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang fastest-rising household services manager na si Inday!

[umentra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao]
Kris: Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.
Inday: Kris, I would opt for case #4 please.
Kris: Briefcase # 4… si Sharmel. Inday, matanong ko lang, how did you come up with the number 4?
Inday: Oh, do you really want to know Kris?
Kris: Oo naman. I’m sure kaya ko naman maintindihan yung sasabihin mo eh.
Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution function that involves integrating up to an area greater than or equal to that random number which should be generated between 0 and 1 for proper distributions.

Kris: Syet. tanong tanong pa kasi eh.
Kris: Ok Inday, choose 6 briefcases to open.
Inday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.
Kris: Wait lang Inday, usually isa isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng case…
Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we’re to open a case each time I blurt out a number as opposed to opening each case immediately one after the other right?

Kris: Hayyy…babaguhin pa talaga mechanics (bulong sa sarili).
Kris: Anwyay, di bale na lang nga… tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie buksan na!!
[Yung audience sumisigaw ng LOWER!! LOWER!!!]
Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksan… Inday, usually ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng “LOWER” every time magbubukas ng case.

Inday: Kris, I guess that’s not the way I was taught in grade school. You see, I was taught that we should only use the comparative form of the word or add “ER” to the adjective if we are comparing two things. And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to open, we have nothing to compare it to. Am I right?

[natahimik ang audience at napaisip]
Kris: Oo nga no!
Kris: Sige Natalie, Buksan mo na.
[Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso... Palakpakan ang mga tao]
Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case mo ulit?
Inday: Case number 24 please.
Kris: Chloe…buksan na…
[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!! LOWER!!]
Kris: Wait lang guys, Inday may nabuksan ng case baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng “Lower”?

Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the one we just opened? Sheesh.

[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]

Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos na. [naiirita na]
[At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang mga case ni Inday]
[nag-ring ang phone]

Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I’m not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker. It’s quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer.I mean come on, isn’t that a waste of airtime?

Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado ang kwarto ni banker]

- Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng mga audience ang boses ni banker sa Deal or no Deal.

-Woooohoooo!!! Ahahaa kakawindang talaga si Inday! LOL

hahahaha.... way to go inday!!.. for putting some sense into the game show... hehehehe..

[porbidaman]

ngilngiga ni inday uy

[iris_primsting]

Inday visits Deal or No Deal

Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I’m not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker. It’s quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer.I mean come on, isn’t that a waste of airtime?

Inday idol!!!

[schon]

panalo jud c inday...!!!maauha jud mo-inglis oi! BRAVO!!!!

[langkelang]

lab it!! inday.. idol..