LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL WAKING UP THAT
> >
> > MORNING. I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE
> >
> > PLEASANT AND SAY, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR
> >
> > ME. AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET ALONE "HAPPY
> >
> > BIRTHDAY."
> >
> >
> >
> > I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS WILL
> >
> > REMEMBER. MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD. SO WHEN
> >
> > I LEFT FOR THE OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND SOMEWHAT DESPONDENT.
> >
> >
> >
> > AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID, "GOOD MORNING,
> >
> > BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
> >
> >
> >
> > IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE HAD REMEMBERED. I WORKED
> > UNTIL
> >
> > ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S
> > SUCH
> >
> > A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH,
> > JUST
> > YOU
> >
> > AND ME." I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL
> > DAY.
> > LET'S
> >
> > GO!"
> >
> >
> >
> > WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY WOULD GO. WE DINED
> >
> > INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD TWO MARTINIS EACH
> > AND
> >
> > I ENJOYED THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE
SAID,
> >
> > "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE
> > OFFICE,
> >
> > DO WE?"
> >
> >
> >
> > I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"
> >
> >
> >
> > SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."
> >
> >
> >
> > AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND SAID, "BOSS, IF
YOU
> >
> > DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT. I'LL BE
RIGHT
> >
> > BACK."
> >
> >
> >
> > "OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.
> >
> >
> >
> > SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES, SHE CAME OUT
> >
> > CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND DOZENS
> >
> > OF MY FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".
> >
> >
> >
> > AND I JUST SAT THERE...
> >
> >
> >
> > ON THE COUCH...
> >
> >
> >
> > NAKED.