Chuck Norris Jokes

[rednjep]

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chuck is dead! google it...

[ta3]

chuck is dead! google it...

Chuck Norris doesn't aged therefore he will not die.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

[P-Chan]

chuck norris can make broke back mountain into an action film by just putting his name in the credits

[spongbhadz42]

Chuck Norris demand to replace magneto in X-MEN but the mutants refuse because they cant take the roundhouse kick they will die in just one mild hit.

[neoraising]

Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris walks on Jesus.
Chuck Norris doesn't pay taxes instead he just submits to the IRS a picture of him ready to strike.
Chuck Norris won an award for masturbating in public.

[neoraising]

@rednjep
Chuck Norris - Google Search

[Seraph]

@neoraising

ahahaha nice one

[wakiki]

kinsa mana si chuck norris oi? sikat na siya?

[kokoytoyi]

Hahaha More of Chuck Norris jokes- Dont get me wrong.. I love the guy, its just that the Chuck Norris Jokes are so funny.

When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

If Chuck Norris is running late, time slows down.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

When Chuck Norris fell into the water, Chuck Norris did not get wet- The water got Chuck Norris.

If some people wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

[miss_shobie]

nitaw lingaw jud ni c chuck.... my boy, my boy... hahahha