Call Center Bloopers

[bloodyrose]

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Agent getting customer's address:
Agent: Can I have your address, please?
Customer: It's twenyfurfif-ysavan newyaorkgh road (2457 New York Road)
Agent: Can you repeat that ULIT?

Agent asking the customer to be put on hold:
Tech Agent: Sir, Can I hold you for just a minute?
Customer: Sure, baby, go ahead!


Agent verifying correct spelling:
Agent: Is that a B as in boy, or a B as in Bravo?
Customer: ...uhmmm... how about B as in Boy?

Tech Agent giving customer support:
Agent: Is the ethernet cord connected...
Cust: Tha Hwhut (with Alabama accent)
Agent: YUNG yellow cord, mheem...

Agent verifying info:
CS: Come again, sir?!!!
Cust: Oh sure, baby!!!
(Siguro egoy 'tong customer n'ya.)

Agent taking survey:
CS: I was hoping you can take this survey with me... Would you have the time to do that, sir?
Contact: How long is this gonna to take?
CS: Mmm.. MGA THREE MINUTES PO.
(Magalang pa sya, ha?)

Agent from a local phone company entertaining a Visayan customer:
Cust: hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin...
CS: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
Cust: Hende naman...
CS: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Cust: Ang alen?
CS: .Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Cust: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
CS: Di ba wala pong ring?
Cust: Hende! yong BELL!.. yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!!...
CS: aahhh... yung BILL?!!!


Tech agent: To help you out with your concern, ma'am, let me just pull out my tool here, ok (referring to a computer program used in call centers to address the customer's concerns)?
Customer: Pull out your what now?

Tech Support: Okay, Bob, just type P on your keyboard?
Customer: What? Could you repeat that?
Tech Support: 'P' on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: No way. I'm not going to do that.

Agent: Sir, that is C for Cubao, Q for Quiapo.....

Customer: I don't want to talk to you.
Agent: Who do you want to talk to?
Customer: I want to talk to the highest person.
Agent: My supervisor is not available as of the moment sir.
Customer: I said, I want to talk to the highest person.
Agent: Ok, you want to talk to the highest person?
Customer: Yes!
Agent: DO yoU wANT to talk to God or You want to talk to Me?
Customer: $%$*&% , I rather talk to you....

Irate Customer: F***k you!
Tech Support: Sir, we're not allowed to say "F***k YOU!" here...

[bloodyrose]

In my previous company theres this agent who is having a survey about chicken..very sleepy already

ring ring...
lady:hello
agent: Hello mam my name is Katy Mendez(not the real screen name) I'd like to speak with the chicken of the household please?
lady: what?
agent: i mean the head of the household please.

[bloodyrose]

ORDERING A PIZZA IN 2010

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."


Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln insurance is 745-2302, and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."



Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"



Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry, you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."

[babske]

bueng! wa mo kabawo unsa na ang bloopers! unsaonz! hahahaha..kalau sd sa civilization!

[khymm]

^ luoya sa customer oi! haha

[gilay]

ako call call......

[winged_lion2l]

here's mine...

Nagkaexchange me ug headset sa akong kauban... we were newbies then, nangutana me both sa SME kay lisud man amo case... then agi ug dali2x adto ko nakalingkod sa iya station(tapad man me) then kuha nako iya headset then tubag sad ko sa phone nahibung nalang me kay nahimo man babaye akong customer then lahi man ang case niya... then we just look at each other ug mute to the max ang cutomer kay cge na mi katawa... tanga o just pressured? hahahaha how can i forget...

[winged_lion2l]

naa pa:

agent: sir we need to ping a certain website to verify the data sent and received.
cust: i think i have done that already.. i told you i am so techy and i know all these stuff... i think i know better than you idiot agents....
agent: aok... so what do you want me to do sir?
cust: assist me on this why i have a very slow connection IDIOT!!!
agent: alright sir so can we please ping a certain website to make sure we have no lost data while establishing connection...
cust: okay okay okay.. how are we going to do...
**** on mute *** agent: pesti ning cutomera... hang up taka ron...
agent: thats great sir, so can we please click on the start button and select the option run.
cust: okay done that... what else... hurry up.. IDIOT!!!
agent: perfect, please type in the text box - CMD....
cust: what? spell it out *****....
agent: im sorry about that, thats CMD - C like Customer; M like Must and D like Die...
cust: okay... then after a couple of sec... cust hangs up....

[winged_lion2l]

In connection to run:

agent: maam can we please go to start and then run.
old cust: aahhhh wwhhaatt?
agent: click on start maam and then run...
old cust: sir... you are scaring me... why should I run?
agent: maam may i put you on hold for 2 minutes i have to laugh.....

[GildedStar]

naa pa:

agent: sir we need to ping a certain website to verify the data sent and received.
cust: i think i have done that already.. i told you i am so techy and i know all these stuff... i think i know better than you idiot agents....
agent: aok... so what do you want me to do sir?
cust: assist me on this why i have a very slow connection IDIOT!!!
agent: alright sir so can we please ping a certain website to make sure we have no lost data while establishing connection...
cust: okay okay okay.. how are we going to do...
**** on mute *** agent: pesti ning cutomera... hang up taka ron...
agent: thats great sir, so can we please click on the start button and select the option run.
cust: okay done that... what else... hurry up.. IDIOT!!!
agent: perfect, please type in the text box - CMD....
cust: what? spell it out *****....
agent: im sorry about that, thats CMD - C like Customer; M like Must and D like Die...
cust: okay... then after a couple of sec... cust hangs up....

HAHHAHH! kani COOL kaau!