When you court a girl, when you express your feelings to her. which one do you prefer to say?
I love you or I like you?
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How can - I love you - spoken for the first time, make you feel so bad?
When a man and a woman say these words to each other, for the first time, there is often the hope on the part of the person who says them, that the words will bind the two of you other together. Usually, that is the intent. Sometimes the sayer has been waiting for just the right moment to say the words. Sometimes he or she has been waiting months, planning the exact moment because saying it for the first time can be very meaningful. The build up can be intense. So when the other person doesn’t say it back, it can make you feel just awful!
What if you don't think you'll ever love him or her?
If you are on the receiving end of "I love you," and you don't feel it back, and you've been having second thoughts about the person you're with -- that you really like them, but this isn't going to be "the one," then this is the time to be honest with that person and kindly tell them how grateful you are for their open and kind heart, but you don't feel the same way. Tell them you love spending time with them, but you just don't love them.
There's no easy way around this, but you owe it to the other person, and yourself to come clean with them about the fact that the relationship isn't going past the friendship -- or friend with benefits -- level. If you have any integrity, this is the time to say goodbye, even if you're afraid of being alone. Being dishonest on any level isn't good for you or the relationship.
You've been anticipating this moment? and you're not ready to say it back!
If you're hearing, "I love you," from the other person and you're really excited by the proclamation of emotion, but you just can't say it yet, then there are things you can do to show your affection while taking your time and not saying it until you're ready. When he or she says "I love you," and you're not ready to say it yet, but you do love him or her (or you think you do - or you're about to), take his or her hand and smile warmly into their eyes. Kiss them. Hug them and tell them how lucky you are. Or come right out and tell them you're just not ready to say it yet, and you hope that they can be patient.
Be prepared for him or her to ask if you love them back. It's a fair question. And you can tell the person you've been dating, your true feelings.