Screwing up friendships

[potterboy]

---

@pazuzu690

that's a really rare case. how do you know she's not pining over you?

@kalinaw

it's consensual. however, consent may be vitiated by form of alcohol. hehehe... seriously, how distorted do you think can it be?

1: simple. she still looks at me like before. psychologicaly, if a person cant look straight into sumone's eyes, there are gaps. myt be emotional or sumthing that emanated from the situation we've been to. and its a common sense to feel sumone's state of mind.

2. like there are matters that she may not help herself to include just to avoid the same thing to happen again. things wont be the same. or distorted to the sense that ur both sexually-specialy-connected.

[annais]

hhhmmmm... generally, i think friendship remains unchanged if nobody's feelings were stepped on, pretend it never happened until the next time you get drunk and.... nah! probably, it'd be better if it only happened once.

[potterboy]

that, if it happens just once.

[annais]

hahahaha... i enjoy your train of thought man! so you're saying sleeping around now becomes a very normal "friendly" activity? oo nga naman... without the aid of boundaries to direct the protocol, how would the persons involve know what's "friendly" and what's uhmm... is "non-friendly" appropriate?

[potterboy]

hahaha... geez. i really miss those days that you used to call me kid annais.

"sleeping around"(pls note that i really quoted ur term), isnt really a normal friendly thing. not for me.

without the aid of boundaries to direct the protocol, how would the persons involve know what's "friendly" and what's uhmm... is "non-friendly" appropriate?

there are circumstances thats way beyond our control. we have to accept that. thats a normal thing to ponder upon. we can always define which is appropriate and whats not but we cant "always" stick to that definition. "faithfulness" is too far from "being able to know whats appropriate" if ud just try to analyze things from a distance.

its up to the person wether he can manage to avoid to tie his situation "the next time he gets drunk."

but i still believe how much the power of love affects the flow of our decisions. sometimes practicality is bent over by its mere presence.

[crinkle]

i sure think *** will ruin friendships coz after doing the act, it'd be too awkward to look each other in the eye and say what you really mean and how you really feel. i know some who'd pretend that nothing ever happened but deep down you know that the confusion and perhaps the guilt is eating you alive. that may be the same reason why some would decide on taking their friendship to a diffirent level and try dating.

[bUrbY_dUll]

yeah it somehow made an impact on both parties whether they like it or not coz in the first place theyre the once doing it...

[jellyFish]

i guess the first thing to do is to talk about it... perhaps after letting things cool down a bit.. because if you\'re really in a \"just-friends-no-sleeping-around\" situation, finding yourself in bed (naked and sated) with the other would surely make you think \"what-in the-world-did-just-happen?\".

you are no longer \"just-friends\" (in the most innocent meaning of the word) because you\'ve somehow raised that level unconsciously or by aid of alcohol/boredom/curiosity.

nway, whats my take on this one? talk it over. The fact that you did it with your friend doesnt make it wrong.. cause after all you dont just sleep around with someone whom you barely know... and friends after all are people you could be yourself with and whom you trust. As long as both of you are not committed with anyone -- and the act didnt intentionally hurt anyone in particular - move on from that point.

[SweetCatEyes]

at times it does not ruin friendships, especially if both parties are broad-minded and just make sure you know where you stand in each other's life.

[pazuzu690]

@pazuzu690
that's a really rare case. how do you know she's not pining over you?

those rare cases never made a difference in our friendship jud. we still are together as friends, support each other and see each other once or twice a week (if work sched allows)...

if there's one thing nga na-change we are now more open to each other with our other relationships/trysts kay we have been to similar situations together na man.

this incident has improved our communication and made it more open.

like i said before, some ra ni. naa sad some nga totally changed jud.