Screwing up friendships

[annais]

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i've been thinking about this... not all my waking hours though. the question pops in my head some time in the day, ask a friend or two, process, put it at the back of my mind then after a few days, it pops in my head again....... and you know the cycle. so yeah, i know i'm bothered by this question so i thought i might ask your opinions.

i believe in this:

The only thing that clearly defines a friendship between two people is the fact that they're not having ***. Penetration is reserved for folks other that "friends", such as lovers, partners, girlfriends and rubber-ladies, you can't expect a relationship not to change once you've mounted each other naked.... By definition, you are no longer "just friends." Rutting buddies, maybe, but friends? Uh-uh.

BUT....

what happens when you and the friend find yourself in mutual boredom or whatever you wanna call that situation wherein it is pretty fullfilling at that time but tends to leave both of you in a sort of awkward position?

i would like to clarify that f*ck buddies and swingers are way OUT of the question. love (one-way or mutual), a certain degree of attraction, maybe even lust, could exist in the scenario but will *** (drunken *** or not) screw up friendships?

thoughts, anyone?

[pazuzu690]

it has in the past (my past anyway)...

however, i have a couple of friends that didn't change...

in my part, i don't feel the need to change, so... i'm what one calls a fair game... (among other things!)

lol.

[gangrene]

hmmm... i think depende yan....

first of all, friends don't just get 'bare-naked" if they don't have feelings for each other, otherwise, you can't call it friendship 'coz TRUST and RESPECT is a big must in friendship.... and the awkward position thing --> i think it's because may malice na, meaning both of you felt something for each other na, OR either one of you thinks he/she did something wrong to the other, which makes him/her feel like he broke up one of the sacred codes of friendship. either ways, it wud still mean na the friendship you both have has been valued coz both of you don't qant to hurt each other's feeling...

the best way to solve the problem --->>> talk. but be ready to hear everything under the sun....

[annais]

@gangrene

i think i understand what you're driving at. your saying that if it's not a friendship and not a relationship, then it's in a limbo...

@pazuzu690

no "oh-my-god-what-have-we-done?" reactions?!

[pazuzu690]

[quote="annais@pazuzu690

no "oh-my-god-what-have-we-done?" reactions?![/quote]

never happened.

those who have changed didn't say anything. infact, for a couple of days (some weeks) we went back to being friends like nothing happened but some eventually changed and started to slowly disappear from friendship.

tres triste!

but some of my friends now are way cool about it.

[kalinaw]

if its consensual ***, it will not ruin your friendships like ground zero but expect a distorted friendships... IMO

[potterboy]

yep. distorted is the right term. but not actualy ruin it. i wont deny that ive been to that. and so far, all parties are "alright".

there are instances that both may engage in such situations, as per situation demands.

[annais]

@pazuzu690

that's a really rare case. how do you know she's not pining over you?

@kalinaw

it's consensual. however, consent may be vitiated by form of alcohol. hehehe... seriously, how distorted do you think can it be?

[annais]

@potterboy

my questions for pazuzu690 and kalinaw go out to you too...

[kalinaw]

daghanan tingali ug absinthe


back to your :, depend on the person engage on such activity & how both subjects handle the situation. Careful with the cheap shoot, it smell trouble or create distortion.