Best jokes ever..

[zHun]

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bulok Vs. bright

Brayt: Brad! kung dili gani ka makatubag sa akong pangutana bayari ko og singko. Pero kung ako dili ka tubag sa imung pangutana, tagaan tika ug singkomil.

Bogo: OK Brad!
Brayt: Pila ka isla ang Pilipinas?
Bogo: (nihatag ug singko)
Bogo: Sige ako napod. Unsa nga animals nga 3 ang tiil nya pagsaka sa bukid 4 na?
Brayt: (walay ma-answer. Gihatag ang singkomil) Unsa man diay?
Bogo: (nihatag ug singko)

whahaha ka bright sa bulok!

[zHun]

Miami Heat, Balbakua ka ba??
Bakit??
Kase NILAT-AN KA kase kahapon eh.. haha

[zHun]

Anak: Tay, gikasab-an ko sa ako maestro ganina!

Tatay: Ha! Ngano man?

Anak: Ako gi kiss-san ako seatmate man gud!

Tatay: Anak gyud taka, liwat jud ka nako dah! He,he,he nya lami bah?

Son: Pwerteng lamia tay uy..........

.......... gwapo kaayo siya tay as in to the max ang ka gwapo!

Tatay: Bayot kang bataa kah! mapatay takang di uras!!!

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Si Pedro nagka-on nga nakapatong iyang tiil sa bangketo ug ang sud-an niya asin.

Taud-taud, kalit nga may nama-ak sa iyang itlog ug iya kining gikumot.

Suko kaayo siya ug nagkanayon "Buang kang ok-oka ka ha!, nag agwanta gani ko ug asin... unya ikaw pa itlo-itlog lang kang buanga ka! "

hahaha

[zHun]

Sa usa ka diskoral, nakigsayaw si Kulas ug gwapa. Tungod kay gwapa man kaayo iyang paris, puwerteng gakus ni Kulas…

Daga: Unsa may sulod sa imong bulsa, Dong?

Kulas: Ahhh.. .kanang, flashlight ni Day.

Daga: Nganong init man?

Kulas: Nagsiga man gud!

[zHun]

TEACHER: Ok class, draw your favorite animal.

Paglabay sa pila ka minuto, ning-pass na ang mga estudyante sa ilang tagsa2x ka drawing...

TEACHER: Juan, unsa man ni imung drawing? Blanko man lge ni?!

JUAN: Baka na ma'am oi, nga nikaon og sagbot! Nahurot na lang ang sagbot maong wa kai nakitang sagbot!

TEACHER(nasuko): Unya, ...asa man ang baka ani??!

JUAN: Ninghawa na ma'am kay nahurot na baya ang sagbot! duhhhh!! Common sense gud maam! Common sense!!

[kenjisatto1982]

bulok Vs. bright

Brayt: Brad! kung dili gani ka makatubag sa akong pangutana bayari ko og singko. Pero kung ako dili ka tubag sa imung pangutana, tagaan tika ug singkomil.

Bogo: OK Brad!
Brayt: Pila ka isla ang Pilipinas?
Bogo: (nihatag ug singko)
Bogo: Sige ako napod. Unsa nga animals nga 3 ang tiil nya pagsaka sa bukid 4 na?
Brayt: (walay ma-answer. Gihatag ang singkomil) Unsa man diay?
Bogo: (nihatag ug singko)

whahaha ka bright sa bulok!

naa naman ko ani... hehehe

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TITSER: Pedro, 1+3?
PEDRO: 4 mam!
TITSER: Very good! ikaw juan 33×61?
JUAN: Mao na ni, kun lisud na gani ako dayon ang pangutan-on. Pabor2x. Abseni nalang ko oi!

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LALAKI: Dong, mabaw ning suba?
BATA: Oo nong!
LALAKI: (nilukso sa suba) Tabang! Kalalum, ingon ka dong mabaw!
BATA: Mabaw nong, nitabok gani mga itik ganina!

[cebu_doki]

This joke was nominated for best joke of the year .

A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!" ...
The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America ."
The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America !"
That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East . I am not American."
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"
She says, "No, I am from Africa ."
Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."

===========================================

The Cabbie and the Nun

A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask
you, but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as
I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and
hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say
or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well," the cab driver says, "I've always had a fantasy to have a nun
perform oral *** on me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. First, you
have to be single, and secondly, you must be Catholic." The cab driver
is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"
The nun says, "Ok, pull into the next alley." He does and the nun
fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver
starts crying. "My dear child, why are you crying?" says the nun.
"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned, "says the cabbie. "I lied, I
must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish".
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party.



PINOY LOVE STORY...........
This will make your day....

PINOY LAB "IS-TO-RI"

Bing, a beautiful Filipina fell in love with Edong.
She planned to marry very soon. She was so happy about her wedding
plans, she decided to tell her Tatay (dad).
Her Tatay told her, "Bing, you'll have to find another. Your Nanay
(mom) does not know this, but Edong is your half-brother" .
So Bing forgot about her Edong, and soon planned to marry Ricardo.
But after telling tatay again, he said, "Bing, anak ko (my child),
there's trouble still. You cannot marry Ricardo. Please don't tell
your mother, but Ricardo and Edong are your half-brothers. "
Bing had no choice but to go to her Nanay. Nanay already knew and
said "Anak ko, do what makes you happy. Marry Ricardo or marry
Edong, because you are not related to Tatay."
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY....

[Boytok]

Si inday nakig-istorya sa iyang ugangan:

Inday: Ma!..i-uli ko na ni imong anak nga buktot!

Ugangan: oi!..ngano man? nag away mo?..

Inday: dili nako kaagwanta ma!..

Ugangan: kay ngano lagi?..

Inday: ku-an man gud ma, kanang inig s3x namo bah mag tuwang-tuwang man gud, gi dagat ko oi,...

[johnnygomezzz]

Usa ka tiguwang na bota ug dalaga nag dungan ug sakay ug bus sa Dumanjug padung CebuCity.

Tiguwang: Day pusta- anay ta makabaw ko kung asa ta mo agi maski bota ko, akoy plete nmo kng sakto ko kng sayop ko ikaw plete nako

Dalaga: cge noy

Ni agi sila ug Barili

Tiguwang: (nakabantay na liko2 ang dagan ) Day naa na ta sa Barili

Ni agi sila ug Carcar

Tiguwang: (nakadungog sa mga shagit sa tig baligya ug ampao,) Day naa na ta sa Carcar

Ni agi sila ug San Fernando

Tiguwang: ( Nakasimot sa piggery farm sa San Fernando na baho) Day naa na ta sa San Fernando

Dalaga: (nag huna2x: at@y ning botaha master man au ang dan padung cebu city sakto ra bya ni ako kwarta)

Pag agi nila sa Naga , ang Dalaga gibutang iya kamot sa iyaha ug gipasimot sa Bota na tiguwang

Tiguwang: Shalann Day! Ni balik man tag Sanfernando!

hekhekhek

[Boytok]

Sa Mental Hospital sulod sa kwarto sa duha ka bu-ang:

Buang 1: (nagkanta-kanta samtang naghayang hayang)

Pagkataud-taud nakamatikod ang usa ka buang:

Buang 2: O!,nihunong man lagi ka diha unya nikaob?

Buang 1: Side B naman bai...