Best jokes ever..

[andr0_88]

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A radio station was running a competition - words that weren't in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali, Indonesia.

DJ: "96FM here, what's your name?"

Caller: "Hi, me name's Dave"

DJ: "Dave, what's your word?"

Caller: "Goan... spelt G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an'. "

DJ: "... You are correct, Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"

Caller: "Goan f*ck yourself!"

The DJ cut the caller short and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:

DJ: "96FM, what's your name?"

Caller: "Hi, me name's Jeff."

DJ: "Jeff what's your word?"

Caller: "Smee... Spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced 'smee'. "

DJ: "...You are correct, Jeff, 'smee' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"

Caller: "Smee again! Goan F*ck yourself!"

[bula1980]

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the Best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from New York , says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.'
The second, from Chicago , responds, 'Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.'
The third surgeon, from Dallas , says, 'No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.'
The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: 'You know, I like construction workers...Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.'
But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC shut them all up when he observed: 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on.
There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine..
Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable.'

[bula1980]

Sa isang Museum..
Juan: Ito bang pangit na 'to ang tinatawag nyo na "ART"?!
Ang pangit, nakakasuka! Painting ba to?
Guide: Hindi po sir, salamin yan! Hahaha!

[ChichayChachiChay]

Sa sulod sa jeep, naay nursing student nga nagkulitog sa iyang kugmo.
Lola: Day, unsa imung gikuha?
Nursing: Nursing la.
Lola: Aw, abi nakog kugmo.

[bula1980]

Bungi Gitahi sa Doctor Tapos Gitistingan pa pronounce.
DOCTOR: Cge e pronounce daw
LUZON VISAYAS MINDANAO,
BUNGI: LUKOT , PASAYAN, BULINAO.
DOCTOR: naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ! MITAMOOT....

[kyuubi1227]

Sa tinud.anay nikanta jud ko. hahahaha

- - - Updated - - -

By Jenn-Isang gabi naglalakad ako sa isang madilim na iskinita nang biglang may narinig ako na nagsasalita na tila sumusumpa...


ODAY ASWER ANAT NUWING ENGITEN, ANYAS WANALI IMA MID, NOFI LAK PINGINAP MAP PUN, OLIB A MITIDS AT ATUN, ODAY ASWER ANAT NUWING ENGITIN, HOHOHOHO

halos mabaliw ako...

lalo na nng makita ko sa sulok ang NGONGO na kumakanta ng LAZY SONG...
hahahhah

[archangelrafe]

Hahah lingaw kaau q

[bula1980]

Tulo ka kumare ang nag-istorya.
Mare1: Sus, ako mare pwerte gyud nako ka limtanon kay ang akong pustiso ako mang isud sa ref.
Mare2: Ay wala ra ka nako mare. Mas limtanon pa ko nimo kay kon moagi gani ko sa hagdan, inig abot nako sa tunga-tunga makalimot ko kon pasaka ba ko o panaog.
Mare3: (Dang pangyam-id) Sus, ako mga mare, simbako lang gyud (dang tuktok sa bungbong as in 'knock-on-wood' effect) di ra gyud pod ko intawon limtanon!
(Dayong talikod) Kadyot usa mga mare ha, kay ako usang ablihan ang pultahan kay naay nanuktok.

[kempoy]

mao ra tawn ni makapawala sa ka boring sa opisina, post pa mo guys

[andr0_88]

ZONES

Na-SiopaoZoned - Ito yung binobola-bola ka lang pala nya tapos ikaw nman asadong-asado sa kanya.

Na-MalaysianAirlinesZoned - Ito yung bigla ka na lang iniwan sa ere, nawalan ng kumunikasyon, at higit sa lahat ang hirap hagilapin.