Best jokes ever..

[magicflakes]

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Napoles: knock knock
Miriam: who's there?
Napoles: pork barrel
Miriam: pork barrel who?
Napoles:
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire'Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar.
Miriam: nasaan ang pork barrel?
Napoles: Hindi ko po alam.

[cebu_doki]

REVENGE
A man who had stayed for more than ten years in Iraq went home
to the Philippines. While on board the plane, he was seated next to a
Filipina who was on her way to the Philippines, too.

Opening a conversation, he introduced himself and told her that he was
going to Manila in Tondo. The lady, who happened to be from Tondo too, became relaxed and talked to him openly.

"I am going home because my husband is having an affair with another
woman," she confinded her problem to him.

"Oh... I'm going home for semilar reason. My friend called and informed me that my wife is having another man," said the man. Then, this introduction was followed by along conversation on board the plane.

Few hours later, their plane arrived at HongKong. Since their connecting flight for the Philippines was scheduled on the following day, they were billeted, together with the other transient passengers, in a hotel for the rest of the night.

Incidentaly, the hotel was over-booked, so the passenger were encouraged to share room with each other. The newly-found friends decided to share a room with two beds.

After taking their dinner, they went to their room and continued their conversation. At about 11 PM , the man said to the woman, You see, our
partners in Manila were unfaithful to us. Why don't we make revenge tonight?"

For a moment, the woman was silent, but eventually agreed. So before going to bed, they made their revenge.

At 12 midnight, the man woke the woman up and said, "Revenge na naman tayo" And so they did.

At 1 o'clock in the morning, the woman, this time, woke the man up and said, "Revenge na naman tayo" And so they did for the third time.

At 2 o'clock in the morning, the woman woke the man up again and said,
"Revenge uli tayo" And so they did for the fourth time.

At about 4 o'clock in the morning, while the man was still trying to manage to go to sleep, the woman woke him up and said, "Revenge na naman tayo kasi uuwi na tayo mamaya.""

The man forced his eyes to open and pleaded, "Patawarin nalang natin sila sila..pwede..!?!!"

[cebu_doki]

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pa bite on this spider

[czaracero]

Pangayo-a unsay imo gusto kay dunggon kini sa ginoo... Mao ni ang wali na nadunggan sa usa ka bata sa dihang nisimba siya...

Kina-ugmaan nag-ampo ang bata:
"Ginoo taga-i kog bike"

Pagkakina-ugmaan way bike na niabot, ampo gihapon ang bata:
"Ginoo taga-i kog bike"

Nilabay ang pila ka adlaw - simana ug buwan, way bike na ni-abot...

Usa kaadlaw sayo sa kabuntagon samtang nangabli ang pari sa simbahan nakit-an niya na nawa na ang imahin sa Birhin ug naay suwat nakabutang sa altar....

"GINOO UG GUSTO PA KA MAKAKITA SA IMONG MAMA IHATAG AKONG BIKE"


tua ra....

- - - Updated - - -

Programa sa gobyerno pagtabang sa mga nasalanta sa bagyo...


Programang pang Agrikultura: PROGRAMANG I.Y.O.T.
I - Imong
Y - Yuta
O - Omahon
T- Tah

So unsa pay inyong gipaabot? Supportahan tah, Tabang na, mag I.Y.O.T. nah!!!

[cranberry]

haha! gipanuhot q cgeg ktawa ani nga thread dah.. ahak!

[pawikz20]

PEDRO: lahat ng tao nagmula kay adan at eba
JUAN: hindi yan totoo, sabi ng mama ko nagmula tayo
sa unggoy.
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PEDRO: PARE HINDI NAMAN NATIN PINAGUUSAPAN
ANG PAMILYA MO!...

[Mama Mia]

funny! Thanks guys for the posts

[KAPSULA]

2 ka amiga nag-inom hangtud kadlawn, pag-uli na nila ni agi sila sa minteryo ug nag decide nga mangalibang, ang usa iya gi-ilo ang iyang pante ang usa kay ang nakita-an niya nga mga flowers nga naa sa tapad sa nitso. pagka-ugma, ang ilang mga bana nag storya: Pare1- dili nani nato pala-agon ang atong mga asawa pre? kay akong asawa ni uli walay pante. Pare2- mao bitaw pre, kay akong asawa pag mata nako, naay gipa-pilit nga note sa lubot ; WE'RE GONNA MISS YOU. FROM ALL OF US! getshe,he

[erosmike]

post pa mu be.. lingaw ko basa da.

- - - Updated - - -

Dear BUTA,

Palihug kog basa aning suwata ug ihunghung ni BUNGOL nga si BAKOL nakadaug ug lumba sa dagan.

Nagmamahal,

PUNGKOL

[peesoot]

healing sa plaza:

Ingon ang nag healing:
"Kamong mga demonyo, gi hinginlan ko kamo, hawa kamo diring lugara, karon daon!"

Tubag ang demonyo:

"Char! murag siya'y tag-iya sa plaza"