Best jokes ever..

[pakan_x]

---

"GF: asa ta?
BF: adtu tas ngit2
GF: ha?
BF: trust me
GF: ok
(pag.abot didtu)
GF: gahubo lage ka?
BF: ayaw saba
GF: maghubo sad ko oy
BF: MALIBANG SAD DIAY KA?

Hahaha

[maiden_asj]

BATA: pautang ug 3 ka itlog, 2 ka noodles og bale singko na mantika..

TINDERA: ilista ni dong?

BATA: naa ra nimu kung imung i-drawing.



#hehehekug

[kageron]

alamnyo alamnyo alamnyo alamnyo alamnyo alamnyo alamnyo alamnyo alamnyo alamnyo!

Spoiler! 

bungi ni sulti og I LOVE YOU sa iyang uyab HAHAHAHAHAHA

[KAPSULA]

Man talking to god;

man; god how long is a million years?

God: To me its a minute

man; how much is a million dollars?

God: To me its a penny

man: Can i have a penny?

God: okey, Wait a minute

[nusm1991]

MAMA: Anak basta mahagbong pa gani ka sa periodical exam kalimti nalang nga naa kay inahan!

*Pagkahuman sa exam*

MAMA: oy anak kamusta ang exam?
ANAK: Hu u?

- - - Updated - - -

GIRL: Nay, buntis ko! Pero promise aksidente rajud ang tanan!
MAMA: Unsay aksidente? Naglakaw ka sa highway unya naligsan kag O**n?

- - - Updated - - -

BOY: Tay nakasuway najud ko ug s3x!
TATAY: Mao ba anak? Liwat jud ka nako dah! Tara mag celebrate ta!
BOY: Ugma nalang tay, sakit pa akong lubot.

[nusm1991]

JUAN: Pre, gipapili ko sa akong asawa kung gugma ba or amigo.
PEDRO: Ah maong naa ka diri kay amigo imung gipili?
JUAN: Dili pre, gugma akong gipili, I LOVE YOU pre!

[nusm1991]

BOY: oh, bakit parang takot na takot ka?

GIRL: muntik na kasi akong ma-rape dyan sa may kanto. buti na lang, may pera ako!

BOY: ahh, so ibinigay mo nalang yung pera mo?

GIRL: hindi ah, nagmotel kami! nakakahiya kaya kung dyan lang sa gilid-gilid!

- - - Updated - - -

GIRL: Doc, worried kaayu ko uy, grabe na kaayu akong biga.

DOCTOR: Gusto nimu ug tambal pawala sa biga?

GIRL: Dili doc, gusto nako ug tambal pawala sa worry.

[nusm1991]

LOLA: Inday palimos.

*NAGHATAG UG SINGKO SI INDAY*

LOLA: Salamat inday.

INDAY: Lola nganung duha mana kabuok imung lata??

LOLA: Inday as a businesswoman we should think on more ways on how to develop our business. Instead of associating the money I got for my daily expenditure, I invested it by putting up another branch.

[naxi85]

edited and deleted ky naa nay nakapost sa pikas thread. haha

[Helper_finder]

FATHER BUYS A LIE DETECTOR ROBOT THAT SLAPS PEOPLE WHEN THEY LIE

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.

Robot for sale.