Best jokes ever..

[vonscrups]

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Isa ka gab-e nangawat sila juan ug pedro sailang silingan ug bayabas, daghan sila nakawat mao'ng gisabutan nila na sa sementeryo na lang nila bahinon. Samtang nagsaka sila sa gate sa seminteryo naay nahulog na duha ka bayabas.

Juan: balikan na lang nato na unya bai peds pag muoli na ta.

Pedro: cge! Cge bai juan!

Nagbahin bahin na sila.

Juan: isa saimuha! Isa sa akoa! Isa saimuha! Isa sa akoa!

C kulas na hubog nagbaklay pauli sailaha nag agi duol sa simenteryo,.

Juan: isa saimuha! Isa sa akoa! Isa saimuha! Isa sa akoa!

Nahadlok si kulas saiyang nadunggan maong nisimang siya ug dagan pabalik ug bungto ug nidiretso sa simbahan..

Kulas: pader! Pader! Ples kuyog naku nadunggan naku si luciper ug si satanas ilang gibahinan ang mga patay sa sementeryo.. Tuod nikuyog jud ang pari ni kulas aron tan awon kung tinuod jud ba ang giingun ni kulas..

Tong naa na sila sa gate sa sementeryo nadunggan jud nila ang pagbahin bahin sa duha.

Juan: isa saimuha! Isa sa akoa! Isa saimuha! Isa sa akoa!

Nakuyawan si kulas ug ang pari sa nadunggan. Gipadayun gihapon nila ang pagpaminaw hangtod sa...

Juan: ok last na ni ha! Isa saimuha! Isa sa akoa! Isa saimuha! Isa
sa akoa!

Pedro: Last nani? NYA? KATONG DUHA DIAY NGA NAA SA GATE UNSAON MAN NATO TO?!

Kulas: padeeer dagaaaaaaaaaaan nataaaaa!

[centerpiece]

love at first sight or first love never dies?

aw oh yah first love never dies diay ahahaha.. thanks sa correction boss..

[thuzhar]

HR: nganong Baho man mo mga HRM students?

totoy bato : kae Huwebes Ra Maligo.


whaha.. disclaimer : dli tanan HRM students Baho, dli tanan Baho HRM student hahah... jwk rani hap... ang mo react baho! haha

[cloydii]

SA CLASSROOM!

Teacher: Ok class our lesson for today is about history! kinsa ang nakaila ni Jose Rizal?

Teacher: ikaw Juan kaila kang jose rizal?

Juan: No ma'am

Teacher: Ikaw Pablo kaila kang jose rizal?

Pablo: wala ma'am

(Pedro ni isa sa iyang kamot)

Teacher: Yes Pedro?

Pedro: wa may kaila ana ma'am basin naa nas pikas section!

[nausicaa]

knock knock,
who's there?
General Lee
General Lee who?
General Lee(Generally)

[leroyroyal]

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a lawyer.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.
They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The lawyers see this and agree that it is quite a clever idea so, after the conference, they decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (recognizing the engineers' superior intellect).
When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed lawyer.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.
When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby.
The train departs.
Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

[centerpiece]

bata naghilak: huhuhuhuhuhuh!!!!
tatay: anak ngano naghilak manka
bata: ang-ang tay cgehan ko sungog sa skol nga bati daw kog nawong, bodlot kono kaau ko ug nawong mura kono ug lobot..
tatay: hala cge pahiri nana imong nawong kay naputos nana sa luha.
anak: cge tay be gae ko ug panyo be kay akong ipahid.
tatay: wla raba koy panyo dri nak... toay tissue paper didto sa kaselyas ay hala kuhaa to ug maoy ipahed sa imong nawong.

[BoyasBabis]

HUSBAND: Hon musta ang tindahan?

WIFE: Dept store na!

HUSBAND: Ang tuba-an?

WIFE: KTV bar na!

HUSBAND: Ang mga trickad?

WIFE: Taxi na!

HUSBAND: Ang dalawa kong anak?

WIFE: LIMA na!
bwahahhahahahahhahaah atleast naay IMPROVEMENT! ahhaha

[crush_23]

wife: How much do u love me?

husband: i love you so much, i cant measure.

wife: no, just tell me.

husband: okay, i am like a celfon , you are my simcard.. i am nothing without u.

wife: wow , thats so romantic!

husband: (saying to self) thank god she doesnt know this is a chinese phone with four simcards

[jameswadebosh]