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  1. #101

    Default Re: Washington Post - Neologism Contest Winners...


    5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
    person who doesn't get it. --> hehehe. speaks to me...i wonder why

  2. #102

    Default Round of golf..

    Round of golf..
    A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two
    black eyes and a five-iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally,
    the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you"
    "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult
    hole; we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them
    and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows had something
    white at its rear end."
    "I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with
    my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt."
    "Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like
    yours!"
    "I don't remember much after that . . . ."

  3. #103

    Default New Supermarket...

    Our New Supermarket...
    A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water
    mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the
    sound of distant thunder and smell the scent of fresh rain.
    When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience
    the scent of fresh hay.
    When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and
    the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
    The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
    I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

  4. #104

    Default Judge's wish


    Judge's wish
    In a traffic court, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket (challan) given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honour that she was a schoolteacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case so she could get to the school on time.
    A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a schoolteacher, eh?" he continued, "Madam, I shall realise my lifelong ambition. I've waited years to have a schoolteacher in this court. Sit down at that table and write `I will never jump a red light again' 500 times!"

  5. #105

    Default Men strike back!

    Men strike back!

    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
    never be able to support you.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
    closer to the kitchen sink.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why do men fart more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to
    build up the required pressure.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
    the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
    A woman who won't do what she's told
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    I married a Miss Right.
    I just didn't know her first name was Always.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's *** drive by 90%.
    It's called a Wedding Cake.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
    with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

  6. #106

    Default Re: New Supermarket...


  7. #107

    Default Re: Men strike back!

    a good one,
    "I married a Miss Right.
    I just didn't know her first name was Always."
    hehehe a bellly acher

  8. #108

    Default Re: New Supermarket...


  9. #109

    Default Re: Judge's wish



    baws ka judge


  10. #110

    Default Re: I'm the boss!!

    he should have made his own sign para dili mabuking na under siya...

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