2 a.m, and for the first time in 9months, i am undoubtly happy. he's the first thing i see when i open my eyes.
With a blanket wrapped around him, i bring my hand around his waist and gently move it across his body, letting the blanket drop away to reveal his naked skin. The feel of it is so right, so personal, and so comforting- like hearing your favorite song. I move my hand across his shoulder blade, giving it a gentle caress and slide it down to his back and enjoy every moment of the sensation. In this instant, i know i've never wanted anything else but this man.
He stirs a little at the feeling, and then settles again as i gently put my arm back around his waist. Drawing in close to kiss his temple and breathe him in. I've never loved like this before; i've never wanted anything more than to be here, in this way, with this man, for the rest of my life..
UPDATE:
6 a.m..
...I allowed the passion to burn brightly within me for just a couple of minutes as I accepted that when he wakes up, I will end the relationship. ..yes, i am certain,.. certain that.. he's..
I slowly pull away from him and withdraw from the bed. Despite the curtains being drawn, the room is bright and I sense the day will soon be coming to life beyond this space. I leave quietly and let him sleep. His breathing remains steady and constant as I pull the door closed and gently let the handle fall into place. The apartment is in that deep silence you can only experience first thing in the morning. It's maybe only minutes away, maybe even hours, but the human world has not yet woken up. No traffic, idle banter or electronic devices, coming to life from the floors below. In the living room the sun is intense and brilliant. Its light fills the space and there’s a gentle warmth beginning to cover my body. I step to the window and feel the glory of the day on my skin. With my eyes closed I focus on the sensation of being touched by a force that still carries this much heat from an unfathomable distance away. I want to enjoy the moment but the beauty of this day is making what I know is to come seem unbearable. If the rain was pounding against the windows and the sky was filled with nothing but grey, if the puddles outside had taken shape or the coldness of a gloomy morning was tormenting the birds then this would be less painful. If the world was reflecting what my soul had resigned itself to then everything would make more sense to me. On a bleak day the heartbreak would be open and clear, but on this wonderful and awe inspiring day I look at the glory of the world outside and am devastated that I have to walk away from a love that should have lasted years.
have you ever felt so certain about one thing?
Originally Posted by jednified
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