Best jokes ever..

[carmel17_87]

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hahahahaaha...more more

[edmac]

Komedyas Bungi # 1.
Samtang nanglaba si inday, naay nikalit ug tabon sa iyahang mata ug nishagit:
Bungi: Ngesh Hu?
Inday: Guess who guess who pakang animala ka, ikaw ray bungi aning lugara!

Komedyas Bungi # 2.
Dodong ug Bungi nagstorya.
Dodong: Kuyawa gud ana imong sapatos nga chuck taylor, gisi-gision mana
Bungi: Ana jud na ang uso karon, gision nga sapatos, mas rugged mas maayo.
Dodong: Imong karsones, gisi gision pud mao nay uso?
Bungi: Mao nay uso mga gisi-on nga karsones para cool.
Dodong: Hasta imong tshirt gisi-gision pud, mao na diay na uso ron?
Bungi: Maabot gani na sa akoang baba, sumbagon ta gyud ka!

[DEMONOCIETY]

^ka maahu gud ahang ungia

[edmac]

This is an old text joke, but I still find it amusing when Erap used to be the butt of text jokes.
Erap texting Loi:
Erap TXT MSG: Honey, last txt ko na 2, pasa load ng piso o.
*Loi pasa load 1 peso to Erap
Erap: Tnx.

[nice_work]

Pambansang Hayop Ng Pilipinas

sa eskwelahan

teacher: jun-jun unsa atong pambansang hayop ?

jun-jun:kabayo maam

teacher: Dili, naa nay "W" sa kinalasan.

jun-jun: KabayoW maam.

teacher: Dili. Naa nay sungay.

jun-jun: Demonyong kabayoW maam

teacher: GET OUT!!!

hahahahahahaha!!! kataw-anan... =))

[dweight000]

Mr Bean: (crying) the doctor just called up, my mom's dead.

Friend: condolence, my friend.
(after 2 minutes, Mr. Bean cries even louder.)

Friend: what now, Mr. Bean?
Mr Bean: my sister just called. Her mom died too.

[cishmie_angel]

These are questions and actual answers of contest participants! (WOWOWEE)

1. Q: "Ano sa Tagalog ang teeth?" A: "Utong!"

2. Q: "Kung ang light ay ilaw, ano naman ang lightning?" A: "Umiilaw!"

3. Q: "Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao? A: "Humanitarian? "

4. Q: "Sina Michael at Raphael ay mga." A: "Ninja?"

5. Q: "Ano ang karaniwang kasunod ng kidlat?" A: "Sunog!"

6. Q: "Magbigay ng sikat na Willie." A: "Willie da pooh!"

7. Q: "Ang mga Hindu ay galing sa aling bansa?" A: "Hindunesia? "

8. Q: "Anong hayop si King Kong?" A: "Pagong!"

9. Q: "Magbigay ng mabahong pagkain." A: "Tae!"

10. Q: "Saang bansa matatagpuan ang mga Canadians?" A: "Canadia!"

11. Q: "Kumpletuhin - Little Red." A: "Ribbon!"

12 Q: "Ano ang tinatanggal sa itlog bago ito kainin?" A: "Buhok?"

13. Q: "Magbigay ng pagkain na dumidikit sa ngipin." A: "Tinga!"

14. Q: "Anong oras kadalasang pinapatay ang TV?" A: "Pag balita?"

15. Q: "Ano ang tawag mo sa anak ng taong grasa?" A: "Baby oil?"

16. Q: "Saan karaniwang ginagawa ang mga sweets na ginagamit sa halu-halo?" A: "Sweetserland? "

17. Q: "Sinong higanteng G ang tinalo ni David?" A: "Godzilla?"

18. Q: "Ano ang mas malaki, itlog ng ibon o sanggol ng tao?" A: "Itlog ng tao!"

19. Q: "Anong S ang tawag sa duktor nag nago-opera?" A: "Sadista?"

20. Q: "Blank is the best policy." A: "Ice tea?"

22. Q: "Saan binaril si Jose Rizal?" A: "Sa likod!"

23. Q: "Fill in the blanks - Beauty is in the eye of the ____." A: "Tiger?"

24. Q: "Ano ang kinakain ng monkey-eating eagle?" A: "Saging!"

25. Q: "Kung ang suka ay vinegar, ano naman ang Inggles ng toyo?" A: "Baliw!"

26. Q: "Anong tawag mo sa kapatid ng nanay mo?" A: "Kamag-anak! "

27. Q: "Saan nakukuha ang sakit na AIDS?" A: "Sa motel?"

28. Q: "Kung ang H2O ay water, ano naman ang CO2?" A: "Cold water!"

29. Q: "Sinong cartoon charcater ang sumisigaw ng yabba dabba doo?" A: "Si scooby dooby doo?"

30. Q: "Heto na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka. " A: "Operadang bakla?"

31. Q: "Ilan ang bituin sa American flag?" A: "Madami!"

32. Q: "Ano ang tawag mo sa taong isa lang ang mata?" A: "Abnormal!"

[gaiza07]

lingaw sad ko ani na joke ay sa txt....haha...share lang ko..dugay naman ni na joke...share lang ko sa wala pa ka basa..hehehe..

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Asawa: Hon Unsa gift nimo naku sa atong 25th wedding anniversary?

Bana: Kuan hon..i tour tika sa Africa....

Asawa: (Gi kilig ug gi ganahan kaau) unya unsa man imong e gift nako sa atong 50th wedding anniversary hon?

Bana: awww..kuan hon....kuhaon na tika sa Africa!!

[Light++]

moar jowkz plox!!

[cishmie_angel]

"THE CRUISE SHIP"

DEAR DIARY ... DAY ONE

I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed all my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.



DEAR DIARY ... DAY TWO

We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.



DEAR DIARY ... DAY THREE

I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffle
boarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honored and we had a wonderful time. He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.


DEAR DIARY ... DAY FOUR

Went to the ship's casino .. did OK. won about $80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room. We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.



DEAR DIARY ... DAY FIVE

Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside. The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman. He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined. He told me that if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was appalled.



DEAR DIARY... DAY SIX

I saved 1600 lives today. Twice..