Life Actually~ mango's humorous slice of living~

[tahbiapo]

---

hehe d^ck's last resort pa dyud ang pangan sa lugar

[rcruman]

Grabeh, siguro diatabs ang gi-take ni lolo dili ******.
Kay ang igit mugahi pa gani, labaw na ang kang lolo, heheheh
diatabs is better than ******.

Peace!

[kent666]

Grabeh... hahaha!

[if_i_aint_got_u]

waaaaaaaaaaaa.... ka gara pud aning tiguwanga wui.,..

[yami]

hahahaha giroa lolo oi

[kentabs]

sauns

[kentabs]

nya kung nice testicles and wheels?
ur ni good hands

[mango]

Choosing a WIFE -


A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates.
He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.


The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her
hair done, new make up, and buys several new outfits and dresses up very
nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more
attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some
new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.
As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money
on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times
the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

[mango]

Quick Thinking!

There were two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead."

They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."
The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye-dog."
The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"
He answers, "Yes, they're using them now; they're very good and protect me from robbers, too."
The man at the door says, "Come on in."

The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.
Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"
The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua They gave me a Chihuahua?!"

[mango]

Got this from one of my email pals in the U.S. - enjoy !


This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was
transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care
department.
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is
currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without
Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):


Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all
of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around
the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you,it
won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back
there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on
something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle
it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light
I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power........ A power failure? Aha, okay, we've got it.
Operator: ' Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to
the store you bought it from.

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose.
What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too (bleeping) stupid to own a computer !!!!!!!!!