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[WinFlo]

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i am planning to send an email with our wedding photo(s) to my husband's girlfriends this coming new year. should i or not? i need your opinions

my husband and i have been married for a few years now but it was only a few months ago when i found out that he's been having "online girfriends". i really don't know how many are there, basta daghan siila. now he calls them through payphone para dili mo appear sa among phone bill ang mga numbers nga iya gipangtawagan and also chats with them everyday without fail. i confronted him several times about this and everytime he denies it. friends lang daw, kung friends lang, why won't he introduce them to me? ngano mang lock man sa kuarto kung mag chat sila?

so for next year, i'm thinking of sending our wedding photo and some photos of us together with a caption that reads: "thank you for keeping my husband company during our trying times. everythings fine with us now and we're very happy. i hope you find the right man for you. goodluck and we wish you the best." ok ra kaha ni? unsa man ikasulti ninyo?

i need opinions from both men and women. thanks.

[n`gel]

If you ask me somebody already once said that to me and nakaana ko "ngek, okay ra ni siya, it's not like i was doing something wrong!". After they got married with my ex we stayed friends pero dili friends nga as in everyday mag chat... once in a very blue moon ra... pangumusta lang and then she sent me an email saying almost exactly like that. I guess when she sent it I told her husband nga dili na gyud mi magtagdanay kay luoy pud iya asawa selosa pud diay.

As to you sending your wedding pictures... duh... i'm sure these girls know that your husband is married (presuming that he told them) pero kung wala... it's not their fault... totally sala sa imo bana. But if indeed kahibaw sila nga minyo na then mag flirt pa gyud sila sa imo bana my goodness with all force... retaliate!

Although I would advice in a very calm manner (says it in a very low voice). Maintain your calm... kung pwede find out a way nga mahibal-an nimo ilang contact numbers and then talk to them... talk to them like grown ups... yaw hilak yaw kasuko... just talk to them in a very composed manner... kung wala sila kahibaw nga minyo imo bana aw am sure makahibaw na sila. One of the many signs sa pildihan kay magbagot magputak raba... show to them you're a winner not a loser... sila ang loser dili ikaw.

[Ms.Beau]

@winflo

oh yes you can do that, why not. but the root cause here is your hubby. perhaps leaving him would get him to his senses? you don't deserve to be treated like that.

[MyMaria]

@WinFlo

Points to ponder:

1) Sending wedding pictures? I doubt this move will stir your husband or the alleged "online gf/s".
WHY? Because it doesn't matter. Reality check: When you are in cyberworld, you can be anything.
Pictures in real life would not pose a big deal since people in cyberworld have been consumed by the
whole pretend thing and most (not all I guess) won't care as much because in they are having fun
when they are online. Furthermore, the alleged gf/s won't give a rat's ass about you because
SHE/THEY is/are the one(s) getting all your husband's time. From their point of view, they are given
more importance than you... Being virtual gives you some kind of "power".. I mean, mentally or emotionally.
People there seem stronger. Less vulnerable. Oh yes, I'm geek speaking.
And if your purpose is to threaten these girls, it won't matter. Because they're on the "other side" (i.e.
you can't touch them, you don't know their true identities, etc...)
BTW, when you say you'll send them the pictures?
Do you have their email addresses or what?

2) Maybe your husband gets a kick of the whole cyber thingie, eh?
How about you pretending to be someone else and chat with him...
Now that's an idea. I know some women's husbands who are so addicted to internet porn that it
has known to cause marital problems as well.

3) Since you're married, you can't just dump him. Either you work this situation out between the two of you
or pay a lawyer a rather hefty fee for the whole annulment procedure... (which may take years and more
heartaches in the process) But I seriously think this is not one of those irreconcilable differences issues.
I believe that when you decided to get married, you've thought thoroughly of how to go about
situations where you think he's drawing apart.. or something like that. And sending his naked pictures as a
joke is out of the question. That is a very mean thing to do.

4) Okay, let me not get carried away and give you ideas that you might actually do and
regret later on. What irks me most with your dilemma is the fact that he ACTUALLY calls them!
That's inexcusable for me. But then again, I have known couples who have gone through situations like
that and gotten through. What is so difficult is the fact that no matter how you try to stop him
(by disconnecting the internet or confiscating his mobile), he WILL FIND WAYS to reach them.
And that's HIS PROBLEM...

5) Pray. Ask for His guidance and the best thing you can do for now is talk to him. Show him you
are hurt. If you truly cares for you at all, he will see your pain. (If I were you, I would give him
the taste of his own medicine... because what goes around comes around anyway.) But you don't
want to destroy the marriage now, do you? I hope you can save this.

Question:
You didn't mention about having kids? Do you have any? Well, you can always use them as
"bait"...

Good luck!

[n`gel]

And Win.. you said "we" but there's really no "We're very happy"... something is wrong that's why he's hooked up with online relationships. Ambot kaha unsa'y iyang reason... kini man gung online thing which MyMaria described so effectively can be so heavenly sa uban nga magpada sa tama. Mura ba'g ang world perfect, walay physical nga away, pulos sweet words, sweet hi's, petty fights... feeling siguro niya ulitawo na pud siya balik. Your situation is really hard.

You cannot prove adultery (so far sa ako nahibal.an diri) unless naa kay actual proof like pictures showing them holding hands somewhere, the guy going into the girl's house and comes out in the morning, that's just a few pero kanang magdate sila nga mag hold hands pwede na na.

He needs to wake up gyud especially if you guys have kids. Lame kaayo na mahimong reason sa inyo buwag. Unless of course there's really something wrong with you and he's been unhappy for too long that he's just using that as his reason to find reason to leave you.

[WinFlo]

@n'gel, MyMaria and Ms Beau - thank you very much for your advice. I really don't know what to do anymore, I've tried talking to him several times. I know what he's doing (i only found out about it a few months back) but he thinks i don't that is why everytime i confront him about this he denies it. What really got me suspicious in the first place was his accusations, he accused me of having a boyfriend or chatting with my boyfriend. Di ba ingon nila, the one who cackles is the one who lays the egg? That's when I started investigating.

Right now, all i'm really asking for is some peace of mind and i can only get it from him. I won't force myself to him, I told him that if he doesn't love me anymore and he wants out of our marriage all he has to do is ask/tell me and I will set him free. I will not beg him to stay or make a scene. I just want him to be honest with me. He told me he still loves me and wants to stay married to me. But to make the story short, what he's telling me is different from his actions. I mean, everytime I come into the room and he's online either he restarts the pc or turns the monitor off. Which makes me wonder what he's hiding.

And oh, yes, I do have the girls email addresses. I sent an email to one girl once and she told me that they're just friends, blah, blah, blah. She told my husband about me sending her an email and I guess she added more to what i wrote in the email kay it caused for me and my husband to have a big fight. He said I have no right to do that, it was bitchy of me to do that daw, etc. So I end up sending another email to the girl apologizing. Then a few weeks later, I found an email from the same girl with her photos and not just ordinary photos ha - they were photos of her wearing lacy lingerie and also of her in her birthday suit. What kind of a woman would show her bare body with just a friend? I was tempted to send her another email para balikason but I decided against it. I just cried and prayed.

So right now, prayers ra jud ako sige buhat. It hurts when someone you love and trust betrays you. Sometimes, I wish ma karma sila sa ila gibuhat diri sa akoa.

[jugs_06]

*jugs doesn't really know what to say about the situation instead, he says goodluck to winflo..

[n`gel]

WinFlo: OMG... she's such a bitch! Hmmm girl you're into some hell of a fighting to do. You know what she wants to prove? Is she's hotter than you and mas crazy imo husband over niya. Sus, bag.o lang ni nagkainitay sa Dare to Steal Boyfriends nga thread although kini nga case Dare to Steal Husbands.

@WinFlo: Though I have to admit... 've been to a bad marriage myself but the only big difference is that I was forced to marry in the first place, there was no love, no choice and my ex-husband knew that from the start. Kahibaw siya daan nga wala koy love niya and I was gonna leave him one day soon. I did and am now happy with somebody my choice.

But as you said, your husband said he still loves you, and that completely makes your dilemma somethingelse. You love him, he loves you.... pero naa lay threat. Ga lingerie pa gyud nga threat. This girl just wants to prove her poison, she wants to compete with you over your husband, she wants to win hiim. Ngano gud tawn send siya pic nga ingon ana di ba? Sendi pud dayon pic sa inyo babies or kids.

[rey04]

i need opinions from both men and women. thanks.

pasensya na ka ha mao ra ni ako ikasulti. men will always be men regardless of their status. maglingaw gyud ang laki but depende sa extent sa iyang lingaw2x. if physical na ang involvement then lahi na na. but if cyber ra kutob then nag lingaw2x ra na. dali kaayo sakpon ang laki kung moduwa ug laing team. if less na kaayo inyong sexual activities as couples so evident nah. but if normal ra gihapon ang inyo sexual activities then for sure he's still with you.

[n`gel]

Men will always be men regardless of status <----- waaaaah!