LOVE PROBLEMS ( post em all here ) READ FIRST POST...

[nolex]

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kun imoha ning sitwasyon, ayaw pagpakatanga... mas faithful man d i ang little bro kaysa big bro unya nagduha2x na nuon ka ron.. kaklaro anang kinsay angayan pilion... swerte gali ka kay didto ka sa little bro napunta... tsk tsk


OT: i suggest you post this to "love problems" thread.. daghan kaau makaadvice nimo didto.. pero pra nako lang, u don't need advices, kay klaro na kaau ang sitwasyon kinsa jud deserving.......haaaaayy pagmata inday..

[agapito]

She had a bf before where when we met, they are already in an on&off situation and she told me they finally broke up.
I went to the capital for my work and leave her here. Unfortunately her bf still calls her and wanted her back-hes outside hte country.

coz of that sitaution before u left, u ddnt know the whole story..cge pa man tawag iyang x diay.. and u know girls sometimes very complicated... deli gyud diha2x dayon they can decide.. labi sa inyong sitaution nga lagyo mo...

and then ni uli iyang x.. she is confused.. so nag meet sila syempre bisan nag buwag na sila.. on and off pa jud mura bag unresolve issue pa ang sitwasyon nilang duha before ka ni abot sa life sa imong gf. and then later on ni palayo pod dayon ka.. the situation is very complicated...

all in all.. i can say your gf deserve to have a chance to prove it to you nga ikaw jud nga iyang gi love..

[ronna]

@agapito

you are a good man wit common sense... :mrgreen:

[cookie_cola]

I have a love prob. What happens man if imo bf kay naay best friend na girl? And they're super close jud. In fact the only thing guro nakalahi namo kay I'm his "girlfriend" while she is his "girl friend." That's just a difference in words but they mean a lot when you read between the lines. I don't feel bothered man with his other girl na friends... only her lang jud. Maybe because I know he cares about her man gud... she's his best friend bya. But I hate the feeling that I have to share him with her man gud... I hate thinking na when she cries it's my BF who comforts her, when BF and I have probs, it's her that he runs to... I hate it when they laugh about something that only the two of them know or everytime she says... sheeet... ato man nang song. Two's company but three's definitely a crowd.

BF knows man how I feel about them. And he insists that they are nothing more than friends ra jud and it's me he loves. Worse part is, that girl happens to be our kabarkada too and she's super nice to me sad. In fact, sa amo grupo she's the one I really like the most. So you can understand my love/hate relationship with her. I love her as a friend but I hate her as BF's best friend.

BF says I'm just being paranoid. Am I? I feel man gud insecure coz what if sa ila pagka close magka develop cla... Kadaghan na bya jud na nahitabo nko... the issue's no longer about trust man gud coz I know dey didn't do anything to hurt me man except they're just too close for me to have peace of mind...coz what if? help!

[diem]

@cookie_cola, I deeply sympathize with you in your situation. Truly, it is quite complicated. Complicated that it even confuses me. I am moved to want to help you but I couldn't think of how to start. Hmmmmmmmmm.

Cookie_cola, search within yourself for the truth you know and if you are still confused, pray with humility and sincerity for God's guidance and deliverance. He will grant you the strength and courage to face this challenge. I sincerely suggest you talk with your boyfriend's bestfriend. Share your concerns with her. Ask her what you should do, ask for her help.

Then you'll know.

There are some cloudy points. If you can please answer these questions, I am sure that it would help me and other concerned kind souls out there to give you good advice to guide you through this minefield of a 'love triangle.

Question #1: Does your boyfriend's girl bestfriend have a boyfriend of her own?
If she has, then why is she sticking close to your boyfriend? Doesn't her boyfriend feel left out as you?

If she doesn't, perhaps you could help her in that area. Help her find a boyfriend. Since she is your 'kabarkada' and you like her very much, you probably know her well. You could help her find her match, or maybe lead her to distractions. Bring her around to istorya, she'll find a lot of willing, eager and eligible young men here.

Question #2: Does she know of how you feel of this situation?

She, being a woman herself, should empathize with you in this situation. What if she was in your shoes, would she enjoy like a situation like yours? It is a matter of delikadeza eh. She should respect some boundaries particularly those that enclose your boyfriend and you, if ever she considers you as a friend.

If you consider her really a friend, could you have the courage to share your concerns with her? Or are you afraid that your boyfriend will take sides with her?

Question #3: Does she take more time and attention of your boyfriend than you?

If this so, apparently your boyfriend considers her more 'special' than you. That's just my opinion though.

If this is not so, then I suggest you make the most of every moment with your boyfriend, make it special and don't let this anxiety cloud the time you spend together. In fact make it more fun as possible, so he should more and more time with you rather than with her.

Question #4: Who has the longer relationship with him, her or you?

Question #5: Who knows him better? Who understands him and accepts him best? Her or you?

Question #6: Who do you think he enjoys himself best, with you? Or with her?

Question #7: If you can list down your qualities(both positive and negative) and compare it objectively with hers, who's better?

I hope these questions will guide you clearly and put things in perspective concerning your relationship. Now, I feel your confusion and I think it would be wise for you to evaluate your self and this relationship carefully.

Cookie, do not despair because it will not do you any good. You've felt enough anxiety and now its time for decision and action. I humbly suggest the following actions:

ACTION A: Accept the Friendship as it is

Trust your boyfriend, trust his best friend who happens to be your friend. In fact make her your best friend, tell her how you feel, win her over to your side. Babae naman siya. If she has doesn't have any ulterior motives to your boyfriend, she would respect your concerns and as friend, will do something about it.

The fact of the matter is maybe the girl just sees your boyfriend as the brother she never had and your boyfriend sees the girl as just a sister in Christ. They've shared a history of friendship, been through tough and rough times, and through good times. But the thing is you should not worry too much because of what ever they shared, it's all in the matter of the past, of history.

You have his present, make the most of it, together. I bet if you just be yourself and be happy, make him happy, you can build a happy future together. Its what you really want di ba?

Suspicion, anxiety, doubt, fear are negative emotions and these are like nuclear radiation. These are toxic and little by little poison your relationship. Take the braver course, believe in your boyfriend, live and love for the better.

ACTION B: Reject the Relationship

If you feel cannot accept the friendship, if you suspect that there is more going on that you don't know about, if you are constantly anxious every time he goes to her and leaves you, if you doubt your boyfriend's sincerity and concern for you, if you fear that he might someday realize his feelings for his friend are deeper than what he feels for you, and you suffer in silence because of all this... then I suggest that you just don't take it anymore.

You don't deserve this. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to feel safe and secure. If your boyfriend cannot completely understand that and provide that for you, then he probably doesn't deserve you.

If you do this action, there will be an expected reaction. One positive and one negative.

The positive is a hope that your boyfriend will turn around, see things your way and make adjustments. He loves you, cannot to lose you. You're the most important person to him and he'll prove that to you.

The negative is the sad ending. He lets you go. He sees his friendship more valuable than your relationship. At least you would know the truth and that's how it is. You learn, you'll live on and you'll be able to love again. An ending can be beginning.

******

I sincerely pray the best for you in Life and in Love!

[einah80]

I think you should believe your BF. If he says its nothing, then maybe he's telling the truth. Maybe you should spend more time nga kamo lang sa imong bf. And try to observe, unsa kung kamo kuyog then unsa pud if sila magkuyog sa imong friend.

"A woman should trust her instincts"

[MyMaria]

hoi diem.. mabuang ko sa imo analysis.. murah nag nosebleed ko sa ako gibasa!

but seriously, you got a lot of points there buddy! As in... daghan jud pespective aning situation ni cookie_cola..

ako maka relate ko both ways.. mao ni ako ikasulti...

SITUATION A) i used to be in your current situation

SITUATION B) i am in the situation of your BF's girl best friend

ug sa akong kaagi mao ni akong nabati...

SITUATION A) mura kog maboang sa akong pagka insecure og pagselos mahitungod ni anang kabutanga... lagot jud kaau ko sa girl.. as in ako gyud gi away... and i know sayop jud to in the end kai pag kabuwag namo sa laki, nagka amiga ra gyud ghapon mi hantud karon kai in the first place, amiga man gyud mi pero lang lagi kai tungod sa laki, nagkagubot nuon! sus pagka swerting lakiha noh? gi awayan gyud! minatay.....

SITUATION B) karon nabali ang kalibutan, ako ang best friend.. ug ang uyab sa usa ka laki maoy magkondenar ang kalag... ako gi buhat as a good best friend kai likyan jud nako ang gubot.. although friends mi sa girl, di gyud ko mo text or call sa laki kung sila mag kuyog, ug mag ka uban man gani mi sa grupo, dili jud ko mo buhat ug butang nga bisan unsa ka inocente basin ma misinterpret sa babaye ba.. murah bag "i know where i stand" or "i know where YOU want ME to stand"... kasabot raba intawon ko sa feeling anang insecurity ug lisod pod ug basin ako maoy ma awayan! paetch..

sa imo karon, naa ka sa SITUATION A.. ako tambag, away pangaway kay dili kana maayo! sa akong tan-aw... gusto gyud ka mo padayon anang imo relasyon karon.. ginhawa ug lawom ug tangtanga tanan malisyoso nga huna-huna.. bisan lisod gyud na buhaton... kung isog jud ka, pwede man nimo istoryahon ang babaye (amiga man jud kaha mo) ug pasabta siya sa imong nabati.. walay padulngan kung imo ra uyab imo istoryahon bahin sa imo kabutang! kai para niya amiga ra gud sila so dili na gyud kaya sa iyang brains i-process imong insecurity... storyahi ang babaye kay makasabot man gyud na siya...

goodluck! :mrgreen:

[bubblegumflavah]

when you are not a couple but you are sexually attached wit each other.
she is single and is not dating anyone else.
what was on her mind is that, why not enjoy the game then..
the gurl is falling for the guy but the guy doesnt want commitments.
the gurl is aware of that. but practically she is accomodating what the guy wants and offers.
she is having doubts wether to stick to the
so-called relationship or get out of it fast.
so she put a space and never communicated wit the guy again.
but after a month the guy wanted to see her again.
will she give in?
will it be possible that the guy can learn to love her back?
can guys develope love from lust?

please give ideas..

[nolex]

yes, there are instances like that... that lust would turn into luv.. take for instance, i have a friend who's inluv with a married woman... the woman is separated.. at first, it was all just about lust... but eventually, my friend falls for the woman.. bcoz, according to him, the woman really is good in bed... his friends & family tried to give him advises but he never listened... and that's it..

dili lang nako tiwason ang istorya kay taas na kaau... basta that proves nga ang lust pwede maturn into luv..

[jugs_06]

yup.. there is such thing.. lust turns into love and love turns into lust..

either way..

point is, we're all human..