The 90/10 Rule
Very few people understand it
* As a result, people suffer undeserved
o Stress
o Problems
o Heartaches
* Bad days follow bad days
* Terrible things seem to constantly be happening
]What is this secret?
* 90% of life is decided by how you react
10 % of life is made up of what happens to you
What does this mean?
* We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
o We cannot stop the car from breaking down.
o The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off.
o A driver may cut us off in traffic.
o We have no control over this 10%.
The other 90% is different.
* You determine the other 90%!
* How?
o By your reaction.
* You cannot control a red light,
o but you can control your reaction.
* Don't let people fool you,
o YOU can control how you react!
Let’s use an example
* You're eating breakfast with your family.
* Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt.
o You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
o You curse.
o You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over.
o She breaks down in tears.
o After scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup to close to the edge of the table.
o An exchange of verbal abuse follows.
o You storm upstairs and angrily change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying in hurt to finish breakfast and get ready for school.
o She misses the bus.
o Your wife leaves immediately for work, upset and angry.
o You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
o Because you are late, you furiously drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15 minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you arrive at school.
o Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye.
o After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase.
o Your day has started terrible.
o As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home.
o When you arrive home you find damage and hurt in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why did you have a bad day?
* A) Did the coffee cause it? B) Did your daughter cause it? C) Did the Policeman cause it? D) Did you cause it?
* You had no control over what happened with the coffee.
* How you reacted in those 5 seconds, which was entirely under your control, is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
o Coffee splashes over you.
o Your daughter is feeling apologetic and sorry.
o You gently say with a smile, "It's OK honey, I know you didn't mean it."
o Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs.
o After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase,
o You come back down in time look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.
o She turns and waves.
o You and your spouse kiss before you both go to work.
o You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.
o Your boss comments on how good of day you are having.
Notice the difference?
* Two different scenarios.
* Both started the same.
* Both ended different.
* Why?
Because of how you CHOOSE to react.
* You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens.
* The other 90% is determined by your own free will.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?
* Do you loose your temper?
* Pound the steering wheel?
* Do you curse?
* Does your blood pressure skyrocket?
* Who cares if you arrive ten seconds later at work?
* Why let the blue car ruin your drive.
* Remember the 90-10 principle, and do not worry about it!
You are told you lost your job.
* Why lose sleep or get irritated?
* It will work out.
* Use your "worrying" energy and time into finding another job.
* How will this affect me in 5 years?
The plane is late.
* It is going to mangle your schedule for the day.
* Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant?
* She has no control over what is going on.
* Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, etc.
* Why get stressed out?
It will just make things worse.
E + R = O
* Event + Response = Outcome
10 + 90 = 100
90/10 Rule Steven Covey
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