Emancipations of M_H

Dear Self,

I am deeply sorry for everything, especially those times where I caused you pain. For being so hard on you, for treating you like a total stranger in my existence. You see, I need help myself. I grew up with no one to comfort me in my fears, my hatred and my miseries. I don’t have anyone to share my happiness and my aspirations in life. Even though you have always been there, but, I have grown miserable, hateful and vengeful that I even forgot to thank you for never leaving my side. I always directed myself on conquering my weaknesses and developing my strengths that I failed to appreciate the goodness of your presence.

You remember those times when I started falling in love? Those times where I have grown immensely obsessed and passionate with that person that I have taken you for granted? I care very little of you and sometimes I hate you for the insecurities and flaws I have that has made the other person unhappy and unsatisfied about me. And when he left for good, I cursed you. I damned you for all the hurt that God knows were totally strange and painful for me. But no matter what I did to make you leave me, you never took an inch back. You stayed with me through the days, the hours the seconds and milliseconds of my life, keeping me whole.... keeping me sane.

With all that has happened-- people hated me, loved me, loathed me.... You were my first line of defense to every ego-shattering remark they incurred. And every time I write, you were the inspiration behind the words. You were the meaning behind my boisterous laugh, my kind smile and my helpful hands. I thank you for your patience and for loving more when I loved you less and hated you most. Those times were over and thanks to you.

I could only promise to be good with you Self, as long as I live. I hope you will forgive me for everything. I know you will.


Sincerely yours,

Me