Because of You, I Know I Deserve More
by
, 03-22-2017 at 03:56 AM (2293 Views)
Sometimes, people walk in and out of our lives without much reason. They come and they go and we are not better or worse without them. They're just gone and that's okay.
But you were something different.
When I first met you, I thought this is it. This is the guy I've been waiting for. This is the one that's going to work out, to be something really special.
But we cannot always have people that are good for us. And you were not what I needed, just what I wanted. And I couldn't see past your smile, your eyes, the way that you made me laugh to understand that you were the furthest thing away from someone who was going to last.
I can own when I was wrong. And that's what I was about you. Just wrong. But I just wanted to thank you, too. Because in some ways, I needed to meet you, I needed to care for you. And most importantly, I needed to fall for you with no intention of it failing. Because that was the only way that I was going to learn the truth.
I am so much more than you. I have a bigger heart, a stronger mind. I set goals and I meet them. And you, well at that time you were just riding on my coat tails, telling me all the right things. So that I would want to make you the center of my life while you were busy doing whatever you want to do.
I'm not going to say that it didn't hurt, finally understanding that you were never really there for me because it did. It always does when we expect too much from someone who has no intention of giving us much of anything.
But nonetheless, you taught me that I can do so much better, that I can be so much more. And that I can fall for someone who is not only going to catch me, but someone who is going to make me feel like I'm important, I'm loved and I'm appreciated. Not just sometimes, but everyday.
So thank you for showing me what I don't want. Thanks to you, I don't have to wonder anymore if it would have worked out between us, because it's not something I want anymore.
You don't make me weak at the knees, and for a period of time, that's all you did. Made me swoon over you. Now I can't see why I ever wasted my time.
You aren't important enough to be a regret, you were just a passing phase. Someone to pass the time, someone who walked into my life, and when you walked out, you didn't leave me broken. I was stronger than ever and I still am.
So trust me when I say there's no hard feelings. I'm not waiting around to hear from you, in fact you're not on my mind at all. It's not because I found someone new, it's because I found myself. And for that, I can never repay you.
I wish you all the best. I hope that someday soon, you stop pushing people away, that you find someone who gets you, who makes you want to be selfless. That wasn't me and honestly, I'm thankful that it wasn't.
It wasn't that you were toxic, but you weren't good for me either. I'm just glad that I started to understand that sooner rather than later.
So thank you, one last time, for all that you've taught me. I never knew that there could be lessons in love, but you were my first.
Thank you for walking away to make room for someone that's the best fit, that's going to give me all the love, attention and appreciation that you didn't bother to care about.
I won't say it wasn't worth it. But because of you, I know now that I can do so much better.