Kagami-chan

I have came across an article about this family that "loves our son so much, and he's the the whole world to us. He's been an amazing kid." BUT regretted the chance of aborting him due to his rare genetic syndrome and even planned to tell him when he grows older, that they wish to let him know he was better off killed.

These are the harsh words I've read from an article of a mother who wished to have killed his son because of what he's born with. Pondering, I remembered when I was pregnant with Bezalel and my doctor told me a list of defects he will be born with IF HE WILL SURVIVE the rough pregnancy. I remember feeling guilty, regretful (I was not immune to the measles virus), DOUBT & fear. It was a surprise that I did not end up with anxiety/depression. I had to ask a couple of times, "God, why me? of all the people, Why me? Have I done something so terrible to deserve this? Why is it that others give birth to healthy babies and I can't?" I was in a roller coaster ride. I was at loss, I did not know where I could ask for help, but bent down and asked God for guidance and to let me borrow a bit of his strength because I AM NOT READY FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS. I was too full of fear for my son. BUT NOT ONCE DID I OPEN MY HEART TO ABORTION.

"But now, O LORD, you are our father; we are the clay, and you our potter; and we all are the work of your hand."
Isaiah 64:8

A friend told me, God will make us bend but he will never break us. He makes us realize that, we are only human. We cannot do everything nor do we hold everything in our own hands. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD." Isaiah 55:8. The problem with us, is that, we are too attached to how this world runs. We did not open our thoughts and hearts to how God sets our way. A way that will lead us to seeking His presence. We have to learn to seek Him, to let go and let Him form our way, though it is difficult, He promises Life to those who trust in Him.

I wanted you all to realize, despite the struggles we go through in our lives, it is not for us to demand what kind of life we must live, but rather, always seeking His ways, which is righteous and true.

"As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him." Psalm 18:30

Lastly, I wish to share with you this prayer that has brought us from one step to the other, 'til today:

"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.
Amen."