maddox_pitt

"I try to deny it
But I'm still in love with you
And I miss you like crazy"

Do you even think of me? It's been a year since we last met. I don't know why even when I try to forget you, my mind keeps playing the last real conversation that we had. Maybe it wasn't until now that I realized the mistake that I made that day. I said the wrong words at the right time. How stupid can I get?
I guess I was too naive then so I had to leave to grow and become a better person. And yes, the year gap away from home, away to a better hospital setting and new people did change me. It helped me grow just like what I thought but then a part of me is regretting the day I let go of whatever it was that we had
I'm sorry, it's not your fault I left both of us hanging in the grey area. I was just too scared then and I had my life planned years back already. I always believed in letting go and having second chances. I forgot the possibility of you finding somebody else.
As I sit on my bed right now, I could still remember why i stayed late at the call room because of a report the next day, how I opened our resident's book and tried in vain to read, hoping not to be distracted by your presence; how you sat beside, smiled at me then suddenly asked me "unsa man ni? Ani na lang ta?" The very question left me cold, I was tongue tied and I couldn't get any words out so I stood up and suddenly left.
Believe me I thought I was deaf then. Your question didnt sink in until I thought about it when I went out of the room. And I was stupid all I could mutter was "ani na lang guru" when I wanted to say otherwise. I was so stupid I ran away, I left just a few days after that. I'm sorry. I know I might've given you the idea that I don't like you, but I do.
You were so close but I let you slip away just like that. Argggh
If only I could turn back time and say the right words, I would. But then only time now will tell if there's still a chance, given our distance and the girl you like now.
It's sad. There's nothing I can do. I'm leaving again soon *sigh* I hope to see you again one last time, just to know if the feeling is still the same if I see you in person. I miss you <3 You're my "the one who got away".
Thanks for the memories I still pray that you find your own happiness, even if it's not with me.