twistedANGEL25

Dysphagia.
Difficulty in swallowing.

That is what my Uncle Titing is experiencing... Even drinking water, it was a great difficulty for him. He RARELY ate. When he eats, it was just a spoon or two. He chews, then spits it out. He has medicines that he has to take, what I did was that I crushed all of it and mixed with Jelly Ace and let him eat slowly. Oftentimes, it would just end up in the wastebasket. He RARELY TALKS. We communicate through hand gestures or him writing on a pad or notebook that we bought for him. At this stage, my Mama was in DENIAL. She still is, up to today. She believes that my Uncle would get better, that he would be back to the way he was before. My Mama clung to her faith in God, and even in faith healers and Tambalans. She took my Uncle to a "Tambalan" in Mactan. The Tambalan told her that the reason why my Uncle got sick is that somebody wanted to get back at him for not letting them borrow money from him. Twice a week, they would go there early in the morning.

During this time, my Uncle was undergoing his first few sessions of Radiation. The Doctors said that if he can take the effects of radiation, then the next step for him would be chemotheraphy.

HOSPITAL-HOME-HOSPITAL-HOME. That was their routine. But the travel and us transferring him from the car to his wheelchair took a strain on him. He gets tired easily. Him not eating and drinking added up to the fact that he gets tired easily... His lack of appetite and difficulty in swallowing was a major concern for the family. My cousin from San Diego kept on telling and convincing him to have a Gastrostomy tube so that he can get nourishment, but my Uncle would have none of it. No Sir, he wouldnt. He said NO. He was being his old self, his stubborn self. But we kept on asking and asking and asking him...

Finally, we got a go signal.
HE AGREED!

He and my cousin made a deal. That he would agree to have the tube and be operated, if and only if my cousin would buy him the phone that he wanted.(My Uncle is a TECHIE freak, like me.) So off to the hospital we went, to have my Uncle be admitted for the operation. The nights before the operation were the most dreaded nights for us, the ones who would be watching over him. During the day, he would be sleeping, but when night came he was sooo awake. He wanted us to massage his head, to massage his feet, he wanted to write, he had to pee(he was using a urinal at that time) but no pee came out, he was cold and he wanted a blanket, he was hot and he would want us to remove the blanket. Those were the times when at 4am, I would be awake, watch over him and CRY.

Cry because I was soo sleepy but my Uncle kept waking up.
Cry because I was pissed at him for being like this.
Cry because I was being SELFISH.
Cry because I felt guilty for being impatient with him.
Cry because my cousins were asleep instead of helping out.
Cry because I know my Uncle is suffering more than ME.

Night before the operation, I can see and feel that somewhat, my Uncle was nervous and scared. I asked him if he was scared, he nodded. I asked him if he wanted us to pray, he nodded. So me and my cousins prayed, for him to have a safe and successful operation.

During that time, even after the operation, my Uncle was capable of writing... He wrote each of his sibling's names, his brothers and sisters who were still in the US. He was looking for them... When in pain and unable to write, he would make hand signals that would confuse us and none of us would understand. So I taught him a technique.

My Uncle Dodo-- his index finger,
My Aunty Inday Dako-- his middle finger,
My Aunty Edna--his ring finger,
My cousin Ekek--his pinky finger.

First who arrived was my Aunty Inday from Guam. My Aunt, I was scared of her when I was little. She was this strong type, even maldita. She NEVER cried. But when she saw my Uncle, she was reduced to tears. She was the one who paid for the expenses for the operation and she provided for the stuff that my Uncle needed. Like facial tissues, wipes, diapers and such.

Second who arrived was my Uncle Dodo from Guam. From the airport, he went straight here to the hospital. My Uncle Titing was OVERJOYED. HAPPY. He was smiling a LOT. Again! My Aunt and Uncle were always at the hospital. The were there to look after my Uncle. My Uncle Dodo was the one who was always beside my Uncle Titing. Holding his hands, changing his shirt, taking out his phelgm, wiping his tears, taking out my Uncle's falling hairs.

My Uncle was in pain, but his siblings showed him how much they love him...