Bigfoot Oracle

I believe that there are aliens. I just don't believe that they are highly intellectual and intelligent than man. Flying saucers only exist in our neighbor's kitchen.

I am mentally annihilated by my imaginary alien friends with their ginormous boinkazoids like Megazord's and Greyskull's –we-wiw-wait.. Yeah. My boss asked me to look friendly and minimize my super straight, stinging blunt words and opinions and my being [insert witty words here]. Hoooorayt! Time to turn off the parts of my brain that do not care, wear my million dollar smile everyday and see how far it will take me.
Gahd! It's so hard NOT to be me. It's like conquering myself with leelel flying saucers with leelel Gray skins inside, shooting its 5mm green rays like it's a 5-piece nuclear bomb dropped at the same time, terminating the possible, world changing, autistic, silent-talkative-sarcastic-kick your balls-with- a- frying pan+boiling hot oil- character that I've been nurturing for 25 years and 5 hotcakes ago. Just imagine War of the Worlds. Scenes like that from the movie are more likely the same scenes that are happening to me right now with Dakota Fanning running away with Tom Cruise..
I'm the shy type who rarely talks and has my own planet ( but when I talk and you talk to me like dumbledore [DUMB-bullshit-Dork ], you'll get a box of pizza made of your dad's testicles and your mum's ovaries. I'm a nice person, you see. I am just NOT friendly. I am afraid I am going to change this snotty image.