Memoirs of an Amnesiac

My trip to Surigao City by Thursday was moved to tomorrow. I thought I had resigned myself to thinking that my shopping of stuffs for that trip will have to be put off to tomorrow. Well, I was wrong. With a seminar to conduct on Reading and Campus Journalism, I'm still amiss. Like someone who needed to tell her lover its over, I don't know where and how to begin.

Yet, there are things that occupy my mind now more than anything else. Apart from the seminar are some travel anxieties I could not seem to deal with. For starters, we will be travelling by ship and that means my seasickness will be put to test again.

The last time I travelled outside Cebu was in 2009 when I went to Guimaras on a Holy Week. It was one memorable trip that I'll treasure forever. It was then that I had a real soul searching, the type that really made me discover who I was and where I am heading.

My vagabond self would have reached areas I have always wanted to travel. I guess I was made this way -- someone who can't stay in one place. I've lived in Manila for almost two months, been to areas in Region VII (mostly about work and at other times, just to search for my soul again).

I would have. But I didn't get to. I had this sheer belief that if I travel, something happens to my family. For instance, I was supposed to travel to Bacolod for a seminar. I had all my things packed until two days before the trip, my father had stroke. The next year, it was my mom's turn. She had amoebiasis. Last December, when I was off to another trip to Dumaguete to coach some students for a competition, I was having some negative feelings about the trip but then about six days when I got back, my father died.

Oh well, I hope my anxieties now have nothing to do with my family. I have a strong feeling they would not be.

One more thing: why does it feel like the place you're going to is far when you're heading there and close enough when you are already heading home? Doesn't this heighten the anxiety, too?

Surigao is another good place to find myself (as if it has been lost all along). The tracking I heard would take about three hours to our friend's house. That means I'd spend most of my time reflecting. There are beautiful spots there, and I know I'd get a lot of inspiration there on what to write here next.

I'm sure going to miss blogging. I will be there for a whole week. But I will come back with a fresh start, ready to face difficulties ahead with a firm resolve.

I hope I'll get to gain new perspectives about the whole trip. I'll probably blog about it.