Memoirs of an Amnesiac

There are talks about my one year and 4 month-old nephew's getting a bike. With his age, he would need the beginner's wheels added at the rear wheel. I remembered the time when I had to learn how to bike on my own. Back then the bicycles with trainers were not in vogue. My uncle who taught me how to bike was a firm believer of the "sink or swim" ideology so he never was an advocate of wearing helmets. He would let me ride the bike and pedal it a few times and then he would push me to the undying lands of scratches and wounds. My father never had qualms about it. I guess he himself was taught the same method.

My only consolation now is that my nephew will never be taught the same way. He has doting and meticulous parents to begin with.

I've used learning how to bike to illustrate the concept of trial and error in the classroom. It proved to be a very good illustration at times, especially in a generation that bravely accepts it to the point of embracing it. In this alpha generation where 5 year-olds already knew how to troubleshoot a computer glitch through trial and error, that is not a problem. With a few tinkering of windows here and there, voila! One's problem is solved.

In this fast-paced world of problem solving fad and instant gratification, any problem is as easy to solve as a cloth stain.

I hope this would not be so in getting into relationships. Most people who get into relationships these days (as per observation), use the trial and error method. Well, nothing is really wrong with that. We all do some kind of tinkering every now and then with people as when we date. But like biking, let us not plunge into a relationship, unguarded.

We must always remember that relationships are by themselves an investment -- of time, effort, and affection. In relationships, there are no guaranteed return of investments. You give it and pray to all the gods that your neighbor worships that the other person will pay it back. (Or else you will end up as another casualty. God forbid.) So don't get into one when you think you are not sure about what you feel for another.

For men, don't give women false hopes. That is the greatest tragedy there is (far greater than the sinking of the Titanic.). I've had friends who are girls who, more often than not, really see something beyond a usual gentleman's gesture. Some men are really by nature gentlemen. (I hope I see more of their kind.) While some others just love to "play gentlemen" to get a girl's attention, only to drop it when their male egos are satisfied.

Women on the other hand, should be more careful about "who" to invest their emotions with. Just because someone already opened the door for you or offered his seat inside the jeepney, he is already "into you." This takes a lot of careful thinking. The usual friendship, courting and "taking it to the next level thing" is what is mostly the "real process". And like all processes, one must never skip a step.

Trial and error then occurs when both the man and woman delves into the relationship for reasons as: one does not want to be lonely anymore or one is missing the feeling of having to text or call someone to tell him/her about what she's currently doing; or one just needs to show to his/her friends that he/she is still a "commodity." So any man or woman is as good as any as long as one is not lonely. How tragic!

The only reason (I firmly believe) that two sane people should get into a relationship is because of love. Cliched as it may seem, it is the one thing I feel must be present.

I've had my own experiences with trial and error type of relationships so I could say with finality that it is BOGUS. More often than not, I've found myself hurt and devastated in the end. The next day, aside from the huge bulges under my eyes (brought about by crying myself to sleep), there are those episodes of me sailing in the lands of WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN HAD I NOT...

And mind you loving is like biking, the physical pains one gets could be equal to the emotional ones (or even worse).