Little_Mermaid88

Nobody said jealousy was pretty.
It is downright disgusting.

Saw u yesterday.
eyes shining brightly, smiling so radiantly.
it made me think of cakes, halo2x, long walks on the beach ----- things that i know you love.

and then i saw her with you.
my steps faltered, my thoughts dimmed.
you saw me, and yelled out my name.

the corners of my mouth tremble as i attempted to smile at you.
only managed a feeble "hi". ...

you ever had that experience wherein you learned that your best friend is keeping something from you?

well, it happened to me today.

i was not hurt when i learned her secret.
i was deeply hurt to know that she did not trust me enough to share that to me.

we have been friends for a long time and i've already proved that i could accept whatever she was.
it just wasn't easy to accept that i was being lied to.

it made me question how good ...

there's always that one person whom you think about everyday.

we met. we talked.
that's all we had and nothing else.

i wished that it would be you,
but it was just an illusion, and now i know better.

i don't like forcing things.
if you're not for me, why should i change you?

sure, it's the same stuff i say to myself over and over again.
but one day, you'll disappear from my mind and i won't have time to think about you anymore. ...

Do you think of me, when you least expect it?
like when you're cooking or watching a television show or you're with your friends?
DO you find yourself sifting through the memories of what we
shared?

I know as long as you are happy, i can go through with my life.
But, it still kills me to see you happy without me,
because i know she deserves you more than i do.

When i think of you now, it's bittersweet.
I'm probably half-insane for still ...

so lonely in this bottomless darkness
if i have no heart, then why do i feel such anguish?
what is it that threatens to break inside me?

this murky road is haunted
it extends to infinity in all directions,
yet it is confining as a coffin..

i yearn for the light...
Lost.

i'm not heartbroken and i still haven't shed a single tear over the entire situation. i've never owned you, you've never recognized my feelings either.

i can't be heartbroken because luckily, i had yet to give you a part of me. but, i'm not too proud to admit that i am a little bit sad about it all, and i know it'll take time because i really, really liked you.

so, i'm fine. i'm a little sad, and a whole lot confused about your actions, but i'm fine.

i miss you


when you love someone, they're a part of you.

it's like you're attached by this invisible thread and no matter how far away you are, you could always feel them.

and now every time i reach for that thread, i know there's no one on the other end.. and i feel like im falling into nothingness..

then i remember..
i remember the way you laugh, the way you make fun of me, the way you mimic what i say..


...