Kagami-chan

When you hear someone how unlucky it is for someone to have a special baby & start tracing your life events as to which part have you done wrong or if people would tell you "you must have sinned to have something happen such to you", NEVER EVER BELIEVE THEM. I can tell as much, how untrue those statement are. The fact of having a special baby of my own, have opened my eyes to a list of truth.

Pity I do not accept. Honestly, I don't need people to pity my son. It is not what he needs. One more thing, what is it that needs pitying? When my son has a family who loves him to death & who will fight for him & supports him to how much he could do. When he is surrounded by people who sees him beyond the disabilities that people see at the very first sight of him, what is there to pity? He is complete beyond his needs. That's must be the reason why he's such a happy baby, despite how people see him.


I do not feel shame. Having a baby that stands out from the rest, what is there to be ashamed of? On the other hand, I am proud of this little fighter. Too bad I could not tell them all the details to his journey. But if people know what he has been through from the very first time his heart took a beat, I'm sure they will not judge him lightly nor will they judge me.


It is a blessing. A blessing that is known through going through all those pain, worries, tears but still choose to face the uncertainties of every morning. I'm sure this will sound like a riddle to others who have not been to a similar journey, but I still choose to share such feeling that I have felt ever since I became a mother.


It is a miracle. Knowing that such a tiny baby at birth who has been striving to live since day one, despite the hurdles he has to go through (subchorionic hemorrhage, rubella infection, low lying placenta, a 2-vessel cord with a very thin part of the cord as thin as a telephone wire with a coil as a bonus) has a heartbeat that stood strong. And when he was born, in which we are not even sure how he would do on his own once he is cut off from his cord, he cried a loud cry. He breathed on his own. His body fought to make blood (he was anemic at birth) for his own. He fed at the 2nd day, but this little guy learned to suckle pretty well and so, he grew on his own pace. We never imagined he would reached 10months, and get to see him smile or laugh despite hearing loss in both ears and the cataracts in his eyes. I just want to thank God for each day, because each day he wakes up to, is a miracle that God blessed him with.



God knows, not them. Do not let other people dictate what you have to feel. They don't know the journey you've been through. It's between you with baby and God. You do not need to prove anything to them. If you will, in the end, you will become frustrated & lost. Even doctors could not tell the 1-2-3 exactly how your baby will become as he grows. The only one who knows of the plan is God. Have they read God's plans? Exactly not. What is there to rely on people's words? You can't move if you rely on stated facts. A miracle does not happen because you believe in facts. Miracles happen because you have Faith in God's greater plans and you work in that Hope you have in your heart for your child no matter how people would look at him/her. If you journey with a heart that is open to what God needs for something to happen, you will claim Peace that could never be stolen.



Pray, but with a grateful heart. What good would praying every day & night for only one thing to ask? I have come to realize such when I was pregnant, and even when I am now a mother. What good will asking for something to happen, then God disapproves, yet you kept praying for it? I wonder how God would react. I guess, when something happens against what we wished for, God wanted us to realize something that would forever change our whole being. Something that will make us realize what really are the best things in this life. Things that are already in us, yet we did not thank with a grateful heart. Despite what we go through, all those negative things happen for us to realize the good things we have in life. The things we cherish now might soon be taken away, but God has already something better ready at hand. If we only learn to see what is unseen, and hear what is untold. Thank you God, for the breath we hold.


Who teach who? I've come to realize a lot of things each day when I am with my little guy. It's ironic how much he has changed me, and how clever God must be. I came to see what I need to be thankful for when I used to be indifferent. I also came to know what real strength is. It is not something that you work out in the gym for. Strength is something that builds each time I go through the tough times, and when I thought I'm about to give up, I see my little guy smiling & laughing & beating the odds of life's uncertainties. It made me put to shame, how this 2ft baby could be stronger than I am. Despite his physical hurdles, he is such a lively little guy, with a big smile in his face, not minding where to look as he chuckles a hearty laugh. He has beaten me once again, he's the tough guy alright! These moments have taught me exactly what true strength is. It does not come in size, it comes from the will of a 2ft little guy. *laughs*